Near Matches Ignore Exact

Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "If Waiting for Godot had had a monkey in it, it would be in possession of almost every major element of comedy available on modern day cable TV"

• If I had called you, would you still be dead?
• If everyone had a flower instead of a gun, there would be no more war
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• The Scots Confession: Chapter 7
• If the field of AI had tried building footballers rather than chess players, how might it be different today?
• I almost had to wait
• If it had been able to, the light would have smiled
• I'm not one to be had for the wanting, Sir
• If God had a cunt you'd be God
• If I had a rocket launcher, some son of a bitch would pay!
• if you had it as an option, would you take it?
• We had every gentle sound
• You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life even if you had an electrified fooling machine!
• I would have cooled this if you had written it
• I Would Be Content To Live For But A Day
• I would a thousand times rather have had a simple cheap sandwich with a friend
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• I would have leapt at the innuendo you had strewn at my feet.
• I Had Already Quit That Job About 20 Days Ago...in my mind, anyway
• She bought a new smile every week when we first started seeing each other. Then I had to buy them.
• When did you decide to forget every wrong you had done?
• All the things she had at one point wanted to be
• I had every intention of moving forward.
• you had to be there
• The woman had a carnivorous frenzy which could only be soothed by the succulent sirloin
• If I had a monkey, I'd give it a gun
• If I had the nerve, I would ask you
• The Monkey that had a Mobile Phone
• What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
• What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
• Every day, in every way, I strive to be a danger to myself and others
• If we had a more developed tailbone, would we wag our tail?
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• Be your own fiction. After that, the story almost writes itself.
• Every "why" question can be answered by a phrase using the word "idiot"
• Why Star Trek: Series V would be a bad thing
• Waiting for Godot
• I've had eighteen straight whiskeys. I think that's the record.
• Romeo and Juliet had it easy
• Opening the cold vats, we saw what we had done
• I thought I had some great insight into human nature, but I didn't
• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• The best I never had
• When each had their own personal anthem
• If you had any balls, you'd say 'Oh, my God, what is that thing?' then scream and cut your mic.
• he thought it would be great fun to conquer the world
• I eat every day with a ravenous appetite
• Be a girl for a day
• Never Again Would Birds' Song Be the Same
• In a world of blind people, c would be the speed of sound
• I had not thought death had undone so many
• Jobs I've Had
• The French chicks FINALLY had a computer problem!
• Al Capone had soup kitchens
• The flowers of our love had died under the hot sun of time
• Pointlessness had become his answer
• had better
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• So she could feel as if she had danced
• Linux would be dead without Windows
• You cannot be in love with every beautiful thing you see
• The world would be in much better shape if our leaders were hamsters
• I assumed we would not even be friends
• Karl Marx must have had a lousy job
• You have had sex with all the people your partner has had sex with
• I had cool friends in high school
• Miss Lucy Had a Baby
• My mistress had a little dog
• When I was young Time had no wings
• If a frog had wings, he wouldn't kick his tail when he jumped
• Unraveling things you would never be able to say with words.
• One day, E2 will attain sentience. And I'll be there to see it.
• If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
• Do not watch Fight Club every day for a week
• the dexterity of one who had smoked for years
• But where the bones had landed, things began to grow
• America if I only had the money. Here are your new commercials:
• If I Had a Hammer
• The Fun They Had
• She was the prettiest, loveliest cat at the ball and she had upon her fine gilded whiskers.
• And I wept, remembering that such beauty had once existed everywhere
• I had no idea what he thought about me.
• Neatest trip I've had
• That'll Be the Day
• What the Institute for Motivational Development had to say about me
• You had better...!!!
• boss i wish you had told me
• Empty at last she had room to unfurl
• If you had to invent a language with no more than one hundred words
• had had
• We had to destroy the future in order to save it
• Stoned music memories
• If language were liquid, it would be rushing in
• The best teacher I ever had
• I wish I had something worth hiding
• The most interesting job I've ever had
• I set the alarm clock anyway, knowing I would be up all night
• The things we always thought, yet never had the courage to speak
• The dead eat hope. We had none to give them, so they were pretty emaciated by the end.
• Large enough I had to count it in stones
• it would be hilarious if only
• Would you take your shoes back now, i think I know what it is like to be you.
• One Day I Will Be The Summer
• Trouble Comin' Every Day
• Musings of a Modern Day Projectionist
• TV can be a good thing
• Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• I just had this thought of summer past
• I Had No Time to Hate, Because
• I've had you here before
• I had a brother, once
• I didn't ask if the glass was half full or half empty. I've always had enough to drink.
• if I had known then what I know now
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• What one object of modern technology would bring you ultimate power in the 15th century ?
• If you were a vegetable, what kind of vegetable would you be? (registry)
• I had an Everything dream an hour ago
• if I had my druthers
• I Had No Right
• We had to go away ... and dream it all up again
• I was the worst lay you ever had
• Had Icarus a Parachute
• He had a life before he met you, you know
• Your mother had a heart attack in the other room while you were masturbating
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• Why do this every day?
• Why don't you just rip my heart out, it would be quicker and less painful
• trying to complete some archaic sub-quest, only to be drawn into some stupid battle every five steps
• What I Didn't Learn in Church Last Sunday (and wish I had)
• How I had a Vision of Lineland
• As if we had been sitting next to each other for years
• a leg had bared itself
• For Want of a Nail : If Burgoyne Had Won at Saratoga
• I used to complain that I had no shoes, until I met a man that had no feet.
• he had a dream
• I've had kisses that make Judas seem sincere
• Open source cars would be doing 200 mpg by now
• I fall in love with my migraine, every day he seduces me with a kiss.
• It will be a hot day and these two ice cubes. We will melt, become one.
• The death of a man I had never known
• The seizure I had last night
• Belshazzar Had a Letter
• Allah Had No Son
• I had to call my father this evening and tell him I was dying.
• Smith where Jones had had had had had had had had had had had the most votes
• She had a 10 million candlepower smile
• two cats and a tattoo, the design I had in mind
• I figured things would be okay once the werewolf started to cry
• every day
• Every Dog Has Its Day
• How many atoms of Jesus you eat every day?
• The Man Who Would Be King
• Monkey Day
• That I Would Be Good
• You meant for this node to be read by me, and I would like to respond
• If I had a nickel...
• Why couldn't it have been an action picture that had just started?
• The Story of Jason Squiff and Why He Had a Popcorn Hat, Popcorn Mittens and Popcorn Shoes
• We have had enough of your beige
• If I Had the World to Give
• Twelve dreams I had in one night
• Death had the ultimate poker face
• I had a dream last night
• When night falls, I will be waiting for you
• Now there's something you don't see every day, Chauncy
• If anything were different, everything would be different
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• Gene Simmons Never Had a PC
• We had silent conversations
• A preview of a movie you had already seen
• I haven't had a wet dream in years
• When Askeladden and the Troll had an Eating Competition
• the grey in his hair had done nothing to tarnish the gleam in his eye
• She had never kissed someone so old.
• Finnish TV Comedy
• Mind without body
• The mailbomb from the Christian Fundamentalists I pissed off should be here any day now
• I was a young boy that had big plans
• Every kitchen maid should be able to administer state affairs

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