Findings:

• Having an S on a transcript rather than a B
• I think people would rather be happy than virtuous
• please come stay with me in the forest so at least i have one person with whom i have no secrets
• i would much rather engage directly with the supreme powers of the universe than the horde of ghosts conjured by man
• Comfort the child that looks most beautiful, rather than the one that is crying
• If this were in person, I would have kissed her now
• we're part of something bigger than any one of us. i just feel lucky to have been chosen.
• Why do gays think that men would rather give a blow job than sex to a complete stranger?
• I would a thousand times rather have had a simple cheap sandwich with a friend
• Would you rather have a matrimony profile?
• I was less than one hundred footsteps away from you I suppose
• Sometimes it feels like we are more than one person
• I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy
• Have you hugged a fat person today?
• We would rather drown in a sea of tears than alter our beliefs.
• One should expect as much from a machine
• Why do I have to call ONLY ONE country "home?"
• Have you tried to keep the river from the sea?
• One Impulse from a Vernal Wood
• I could have been one of a two
• Do unto others as you would have others do unto you
• hug from Hagrid
• Inventors have one hand in the junk drawer
• We are the ones we have been waiting for
• AOL-Time-Warner-Disney-God will eventually get everybody's money, and no one will have to get shot
• from where I stand I can see they have already won
• How the inside of the mind would look from a purely abstract point of view
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• If you didn't have free will, would you know it?
• What have you learned from your patients today?
• I am clothed when other people go almost naked through the frozen cities in winter
• So there I was, naked and hiding, facing the dissertation committee from the Isle of Lesbos
• The rather religious attitude certain people have towards food
• This is an ode to the one I have loved the least
• I guess that I am the one who has changed
• he would have cried
• Would ye have a young Virgin of fifteen Years
• A love poem scrawled from one stranger to another
• The Ones Who Walk Away From Salemo
• Balloons whose strings have slipped from unclutched hands
• Two men look from prison bars. One saw mud and one saw stars.
• than vs. from
• cut from the cloth of god; nothing is real
• There is no one here to stop me from using this silence.
• Just because you both have the same problem does not mean you are one another's solution
• Warmer winds than this have frozen sunnier days
• you would have been
• Do female homosexuals have it easier than male homosexuals?
• One Step from Eden
• You can tell a lot about a person from their e-mail address
• If Gore Had Won (A cautionary tale)
• Hello, my name is... Would you like to have sex?
• What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
• i have messed up. i am a horrible person.
• Have you hugged a psychopath today?
• I would have leapt at the innuendo you had strewn at my feet.
• Oh, False One, You Have Deceived Me
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• I would have attempted to draw her if she had stayed that way.
• Bernie would have won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's
• Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today.
• Americans have more than 40 words for boobies
• Final Comments from Judge Parker to Wen Ho Lee, part one
• The hot girls from cold countries have scars you're not supposed to see
• As seen mouthed through one half inch of safety glass as the bus pulled away from the terminal and left a westward wafting cloud of exhaust
• Which God was cooler, the one from the Old Testament or the one from the New Testament?
• i'm a million different people from one day to the next
• I've had better hugs from wind gusts and dead people
• My heart is nothing more than an engine forged from the remnants of a dead star
• drop your slogans and drop your pants. proceed naked from this existence.
• the slightest movements which I make have begun to squeeze pure blood from my kidneys again
• The Doctor is the Nameless One from Planescape: Torment
• running from a blind person's perspective
• Weak and desperate from decades of commuting the djinn would barter all for coffee and a friendly ear
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st
• One long June I came down from the trees
• There are worse things than to have a great injustice done to you
• Advantages an invisible man would have in the world
• I still have the skull of the one that tried to bite my leg off
• I may or may not have been naked
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• For future reference, when in eternity or insanity; dreams I would like to have
• how many bird nests would be made from her lovely hair
• I would like to have emotions
• You'll be something special one day. And you -- you have to take care of your sister.
• you have become one with The Anonymous
• Cookies have more calories than TNT
• I would have liked thunder when she left
• It furthers one to have somewhere to go
• If it had been able to, the light would have smiled
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• I might have expected that the mushrooms would worship you
• Have One On Me
• Why the ancient Babylonians would have loved high definition television
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• If it were a snake, it would have bit me
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• I would have killed for a sexual thought
• It takes more than good memory to have good memories
• he would have laughed
• I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
• Bernie would have won
• Friend, you have a lot to learn if you think loving me would be a bad idea.
• No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
• What pornos would have us believe
• Stoned music memories
• Part One: We Learn from Each Other
• Moving a SharePoint portal from one drive to another
• Any sufficiently nice person is indistinguishable from someone who likes you
• It takes the profit from 22 towels to pay for one package of copier paper
• You have been paroled from participation in the Capitalist Project
• Where the water for the flood could have come from
• A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have
• I can see three corners from this corner. Two's a perfect number. But one?
• The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
• From one single idea, everything appeared here
• If I can stop one heart from breaking
• When people ask "Where are you from?" I have to think for a minute
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• The Good Ones From Inside
• What I have learned from being fired
• Weak and desperate from decades of commuting the djinn would barter all for coffee and a friendly ear (fiction) mp3 (recording)
• Yet from you only proceeds, kindly ones, comfort and balm.
• she's the reason the dust i finally leave will be better than the dust i came from
• The judging of American talent by persons from the United Kingdom
• we have learned all that we can from anal probing
• Usually, if you've seen one bald man in a robe, you've seen 'em all, but most of them aren't burning alive from the inside out
• heart medications which all have names like alien military from other planets
• All Powers from One Division
• A thousand years from now, we should have coffee and tell stories while the world disintegrates
• I have freed myself from corporate advertising
• love is such a more sustainable energy to draw from than hate
• The smell of kittens that have been careless; the flowers and the beer cans emerging from the snow.
• To withhold forgiveness from a person is like drinking poison and waiting for them to die.
• Cemeteries are boring, but I can't seem to stay away from this one in particular.
• The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas
• Who needs another person when you have yourself?
• Prices should have no more than 2 significant digits
• The navigational computer confirms that we have emerged from hyperspace... on the other side of the planet.
• Nodes your Grandma would have liked
• The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way)
• You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
• Episodic bursts of kindness and charity don’t free one from culpability
• And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!
• I will take one ticket please to whatever you have to say please keep talking
• All the terrible disadvantages an invisible man would have in the world
• I have one whole anus
• I would have cooled this if you had written it
• if music was a woman you would have a mistress
• I sincerely hope you have one of these somewhere in your life.
• Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
• You have to watch out for the quiet ones
• It was one of the worst things I have ever done
• Now that I have nothing resembling a desk, I am allowing myself a node to fantasize about one
• I have children; therefore I am better than you
• If you or a loved one have been injured or killed
• It would be a less interesting world if we all walked and skipped alike, and never fell from bicycles.
• Terminating a pregnancy due to Down Syndrome
• You, standing
• It's better to be heartbroken than to have a heart not worth breaking
• Things that would have seemed unbelievable about 11 years ago
• To a Poet, who would have me Praise certain Bad Poets, Imitators of His and Mine
• If your hand is larger than your face you have cancer
• Penises have higher bandwidth than cable modems
• Words that only have one context
• You stole what they would have given you
• Telling real pearls from fake ones

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