"I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me" were the words allegedly spoken by one Harriet Harman, Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Chairman of the Labour Party, Lord Privy Seal, Leader of the House of Commons, and Minister for Women and Equality, during an incident which took place in Camberwell on the afternoon of the 3rd July 2009.

It came to pass that Ms Harman was driving her red Ford Fiesta at Bushey Hill Road near to where she had her home at Camberwell in South London, and was holding a conversation on her mobile phone when she struck a parked car. Naturally this incident attracted a small crowd of onlookers, including the owner of the struck vehicle, who then approached Ms Harman, at which point she wound down her window, made her pronouncement, and then drove off.

According to a "senior police source" they were later contacted by "concerned members of the public who had witnessed the accident and the behaviour of Ms Harman". Details were then passed to the London Traffic Unit, which proceeded to launch an investigation, since hitting a stationary vehicle would itself be a prima facie case of driving without due care and attention; leaving the scene of an accident without handing over your insurance or registration details would be an offence under the Road Traffic Act 1988, whilst using a mobile phone whilst driving would also an offence, normally punishable with an automatic three points and a £60 fine.

When the story first hit the press in early October 2009 it appeared that although the incident had taken place some three months previously, the London Traffic Unit had oddly enough yet to interview Ms Harman. There were rumours that they had attempted to do so, but that Ms Harman refused to speak to them, on the grounds that they were civilian support staff rather than actual police officers, despite the fact that it was her own government that was encouraging the use of civilian support staff in such circumstances in order to free up police officers for more important duties.

The press were particularly interested in the tale, not only because it involved a senior government minister, but also because the government minister in question had, as we say in Britain, 'previous'. In 2003 she was fined £400 and disqualified for a week after being convicted of driving at 99 mph on a motorway, and again in 2007 she received a £60 fixed-penalty notice and three penalty points after being caught driving at 50 mph in a 40 mph zone on the A14 in Suffolk. In the latter case, she narrowly avoided a further appearance at Ipswich Magistrates' Court due to her failure to pay the fine on time. A quite understandable lapse given that she was engaged in the contest for the deputy leadership of the Labour Party at the time.

As far as these latest allegations were concerned, Ms Harman produced a spokeswoman who announced that she "strongly refutes the allegations but is co-operating with the police". Students of the English language would immediately have noted that the word refute means to "disprove, overthrow by argument, prove to be false", and wondered why, if Ms Harman was capable of disproving the allegation, she had not simply handed this evidence over to the police, and avoided the public expense of a trial. However as the Oxford English Dictionary notes, refute is "Sometimes used erroneously to mean 'deny, repudiate'" which is presumably what Ms Harman really meant to say.

Nevertheless a case file was duly sent to the Crown Prosecution Service, and the CPS duly decided to charge Ms Harman with driving without due care and attention and driving while using a mobile phone. She was not however charged with 'leaving the scene of an accident' presumably because she had sufficiently identified herself by shouting "I'm Harriet Harman, you know where you can get me" before driving off. Stranger still however was the fact that the charge of driving while using a mobile phone was withdrawn when the matter came before Westminster Magistrates' Court on the 8th January 2010. This appeared to be a particularly perverse decision given that Prosecutor Michael Jennings informed the court that Ms Harman was "using her mobile phone when she got into the car and throughout the low-speed incident". To cap it all the nation discovered what Ms Harman really meant by "refutes" as she pled guilty to the charge of driving without due care and attention.

She was fined £350, ordered to pay £75 costs together with a £15 victim surcharge, and had three points added to her driving licence. Naturally some people were rather upset at this display of leniency.. A certain Cathy Keeler, from a road safety campaign group known as Brake, was particularly incensed at the at the failure to charge Harman with the use of a mobile phone whilst driving, and declared that it was "unacceptable" for "someone who is so much in the public eye to disregard laws that are there for the safety of the public". Cynics noted that had Ms Harman also been charged with the mobile phone offence, the additional three points would have taken her total up to twelve and resulted in an automatic driving ban. A state of affairs that would have no doubt caused her some inconvenience, there being an election expected in the near future. Perhaps the CPS knew what it was doing after all.

SOURCES

• James Millbank, 'I'm Harriet Harman - you know where you can get me...', Daily Mail, 04th October 2009
  http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1217974/Im-Harriet-Harman--know--What-Minister-allegedly-told-witness-crashing-parked-car.html
• Harriet Harman fined £350 for careless driving, BBC News, 8 January 2010
  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8447784.stm

Well folks, the title really tells you everything you need to know here. But I'm gonna go ahead and tell you a little story anyway.

A few days ago, I decided to organise all my Facebook friends into lists, by how and from where I know them. I was secretly getting a bit worried that most of my "friends" were really work colleagues and that I'm turning into one of those corporate types and will eventually replace my profile picture with my cat in an Intel t-shirt or something. So I broke it up into family, work, friends from back home, people I know from when I lived in Dublin, people from the old alt.fan.pratchett community, misc, and noders. And you know what? After my old school friends, the noder list turned out to be the longest.

And then I sort of went down the list and started remembering all kinds of fun stories I know about these people, all sorts of adventures we shared... Like the time I went to a residential gaming convention in deepest darkest Irish countryside because some bloke on the internet was all "you should come, it'll be fun". Or the time in 2003 when we had this crazy hot summer and dope was reclassified as "you won't get arrested" and we had that meet in Hyde Park that I honestly can't remember any of because some people took the reclassification pretty seriously...

Then there was that crazy bunch of noders clambering all over the Wiltshire countryside and getting bogged down in huge quagmires and having to jump fences and that's how we know certain noders definitely wear pants with pink bats on them... And then once somebody flew in to a meet just for the weekend and I had eleven noders sleeping like pilchards in a can, all in a row on my front room carpet. Oh yeah, and do you remember when there was this handfasting on Hampstead Heath, and I carted a wedding cake all the way from Swindon, and then we did readings in Hebrew? Plus there was my birthday, when we set up a production line of Goth make up in the Camden Tup, which has closed since but I hope we had nothing to do with that.

But then the stories begin to resolve. And they're not stories about crowds anymore, but about people: Katie and I looking for a coffee shop in Soho at midnight because the pubs have closed and we still had so much to talk about. Meeting Daniela's grandmother, who is awesome. David giving me the most amazing line drawing of me he did from a photo. Graeme saying thank you for things that are a bit personal so I won't go in to them, but hey man - you're totally welcome. Christine driving for an hour to pick me up from Sacramento and then cooking me poached eggs for breakfast. Haje catching the train from London to keep me company for an evening because I was lonely. Catherine telling me jokes all the way on the ferry back from Calais so I don't get seasick. These aren't just noders, they're not just screen names - they're friends. And I'm sorry to all the friends I might have left out, people I love dearly and some of whom are still very much in my life and some of whom are a bit gone, but hey, that's life. Just believe me when I say I remember you all, and if I wasn't afraid I'd run out of space, I'd tell all the stories.

So, E2 is going to be ten years old in a few weeks. And you know what? Normally I'm not a sentimental gal. And I've tended to cock an eyebrow at people who say they love E2 "because of the community". I don't know how much of a community we are, online. But offline? We are so totally a community now. And that's why I want to step up and help celebrate E2's birthday in a real life kind of manner.

What I'd like to do is go back to every place we've ever had a good time together and do it all again. Such is the way of nostalgia. But that would be, how shall we say, maybe not the most practical. So instead, DEB and I are inviting you to come and have a pint with us in some of the more memorable, traditional, convenient or simply good London pubs that we've had nodermeets in over the years. All credit for devising the route, working out timings, remembering the names of the pubs and deciding where we should eat - in other words, for the real work - goes to her lovely self. Below is the intinerary we propose, approximately divided into time slots so that if you can't join us at the beginning, you could still catch up with us later, on

Saturday, November 14th 2009

• 11:00 Meet at The Freemason's Arms, Hampstead.
• 12:00 Fitzroy Tavern, Charlotte Street
• 13:00 Bricklayer's Arms, Gresse Street - lunch
• 14:30 The George, Wardour Street
• 15:30 If weather permits, and we're not running short on time or light, a stroll up to and through Hyde Park
• 16:45 Penderel's Oak, High Holborn
• 17:45 The Knight's Templar, Chancery Lane
• 19:00 The Plume of Feathers, Park Vista, Greenwich - dinner, and a nice quiet rest after all the rushing around.

I think after all the work DEB's put in to this, I'd better turn up even of nobody else does. But hey, it'll be way more fun to have y'all along for company. You should come. It'll be fun.

So far, we've got:

Nostalgic Noders:

• Me
• The Debutante
• BaronWR
• spiregrain
• fondue
• sam512
• Wntrmute
• TenMinJoe
• DTal
• ...

Indecisive Independents:

• Albert Herring
• Oolong
• Hazelnut
• ...

Antisocial Abstainers:

• Junkill
• lpm
• Nadine2

In the UK, summer is upon us and the weather gods are indicating that it is going to a pleasant one. A great reason to trot out the Pimm's, cucumber sandwiches, lie about on picnic rugs and turn a blind eye to the bare white beer bellies, all in the company of delightful noders.

It has been five years since the last London Park Nodermeet and seven since the first. Considering both of these nodermeets has resulted in noder marriages, it is time to test a theory, all scientific like. The theory is that a park, with sunshine and noders may cause love.

According to one of Britnoder's huge mathematical brains, wntrmute, we have a good chance of success. "With the small sample space of a pair of nodermeets, and noder romance being infinitely more mysterious than celestial mechanics, I'm thus happy to apply the rule of succession and declare the probability of a third marriage to be 3/4."

This all in the name of science, honest, guv.

When? Saturday 25th July 2009, from 1pm until the sun goes down.

Where? Regent's Park. Just in from the Chester Gate on the outer circle. Close to the Regents Park tube station. Map of the park can be found here, lower right corner is our destination. Message me for my phone number if you intend to get a little lost. I am aiming to have some sort of flag flying so the group is locatable. See below for the Plan B.

Weather: We are hoping for good weather. Plan B is to decamp to the Yorkshire Grey, not far from the park, a Sam Smiths pub that does food. A table will be booked and announcement about the change placed here.

Why?: Well, to prove a theory and for me to celebrate five years since landing in Blighty.

What(to bring): Food, drink, rugs, picnic hampers, Frisbee, cricket bats, umbrella and sun screen. Sharing ones bounty will be encouraged. (Gin soaked may just need some testers for their picnic food.)

Who: Noders, friends of noders, lovers of noders, new noders, old noders in short if you have read this, come along.

Update!! At the moment the weather is changeable. If you are going, message me and I will give you my number, then text me and I will text you on the day if we are going to the pub. At the moment the plan is to Picnic!

Those who are daring to test the theory.

La petite mort – Successful in previous trial.
StrawberryFrog - Successful in previous trial.
The Debutante - Laboratory assistant.
sam512 - computing the algorithms.
spiregrain - charming the agar.
BaronWR - wrangling the bacteria.
Nadine_2 - annoying the test animals.
fondue - putting the results into binary.
Wntrmute - calculating the equations.
Andrew Aguecheek - polishing the test tubes.
krimson - squinting at the geometry.
DTal - tweaking the numerals.

The control group

Hazelnut - lab rat
BaronessWR - white mouse

Those who can not stand the science.

tentative - sabbatical
wertperch - secondment
dimview - leave of absence
junkill - retreat

Crash space for out of towners can be arranged.

Nadine_2 is in need of some floor for his body to rest upon. Offers to him or me.
sam512 is also in need of crash space. Offers to him or me.

So, Valentine's day is around the corner, and as usual, my plans were to stay in and moan to whoever was online about how none of my coupled friends are up for a drink. But, this year, it will be different! The other week, somewhere in Covent Garden, I found myself drinking with The Debutante and BaronWR. In this aristocratic and unattached company, a plan was hatched. The plan involved wine, food, and explosions. In other-words, the plan was to hold a nodermeet!

The plan is elegant in its simplicity. Noders who, whether intentionally or through the capriciousness of the global populace, find themselves unattached this Valentine's day are cordially invited to spend the evening in the cheerful company of their fellows who find themselves likewise.¹

The Debutante has offered to open her London house and serve warming, hearty dishes, and requests dietary requirements via /msg. There will doubtless be alcohol (and presumably non-alcohol) in various forms. The entertainment will be provided by DVDs featuring thrilling chases, daring-do, and gratuitous explosions. BaronWR has mentioned the possibility of a Wii. You are welcome to bring your own drink, DVDs, and hookers anything else you feel we shouldn't be without.

Obviously with two weeks yet to run, this guest list is provisional and subject to change, but as long as you are single on Valentine's Day 2009, you will be very welcome. Directions can be provided by /msg or other forms of electronic communication.

Hosts

The Debutante, a debutante
BaronWR, a lord
Andrew Aguecheek, a knight

Guestlist

Sam512, a power
DTal, a colonist
Hazelnut, a squire
Katrina, a lady
arieh, a gentleman (Well, we're hoping so, anyway. DEB.)
shouldhavenodebetter, an earl
fondue, unannounced

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¹As DEB rightly points out, those excluded from the guest list are going to be busy anyway...

The tallest building in Great Britain is was One Canada Square... Wait, what?

I too was rather shocked what I found out that too. It’s rather rare for landmarks to be named after other countries, even if we do happen to share a monarch. Probably due to this fact, the tower is oft referred to as the Canary Wharf Tower, after its location. While it is not the only tower located at Canary Wharf, it is still the tallest.

In the skyline, it easily catches the eye. A square monolithic structure of stainless steel and glass, it towers over its neighbours, and is topped off with a distinctive pyramid. The pyramid is made of stainless steel, and is lit up at night. It can be seen from over 20 miles away.

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Construction on the building commenced in 1988, and was completed in 1991. It houses 50 floors, and depending on who you talk to, it is either 800 ft or 771 ft tall. The 800 ft claim is made by the building owners, whereas the 771 ft number is found on the official aviation charts. Either way, this is still tall enough to be granted the title of tallest building in Britain, for the time being. The Riverside South building, also at Canary Wharf, is slated for completion in 2011 and will be slightly taller than One Canada Square, at 774 ft, and the Shard London Bridge which is slated for completion in 2012 will tower over them at 1017 ft.

Update: Andrew Aguecheek says re One Canada Square: Possibly worth an update - the Shard is now the tallest building in Great Britain, and indeed the EU.,/p>

One Canada Square primarily houses office space, with some limited retail. Its total floor area is 1,238,000 sq ft, and the majority of the building is leased out. There is some shopping in the basement, as well as a link to the Canada Square shopping centre, as well as links to public transit. The basement and the lobby are the only parts of the building that are open to the public.

The tower was built by Olympia and York, with the primary architects being Cesar Pelli & Associates Architects. Olympia and York filed for bankruptcy in 1992, due in no small part to their inability to keep the building full, as part of a general downturn in the London commercial property market. But, eventually the market recovered, and One Canada Square’s fortunes, along with the rest of the Canary Wharf development, was boosted by the extension of the Jubilee line of the London Underground, which added a stop in Canary Wharf in 1999. The building is now owned by the Canary Wharf Group.

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The tower was the target of an attempted terrorist attack in 1992, when the IRA tried placing a van rigged with a large bomb near the building. Fortunately, the detonator on the device failed, and there was no damage caused. However, this event led to stricter security in the building, including the closure of the observation deck on the 50th floor.

Now-a-days, One Canada Square is one of the primary financial centres of London, and by extension, the world. Over 9,000 people schlep to and from work at One Canada Square on a daily basis. We shall, of course, have to see how the ramifications of the global credit crisis of 2008 affects the fortunes of its occupants.

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Sources:
Wikipedia. "One Canada Square," Wikipedia, the free encylopedia. 13 Nov 2008. <en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Canada_Square> (13 Nov 2008.)
Wikipedia. "Canary Wharf," Wikipedia, the free encylopedia. 12 Nov 2008. <en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canary_Wharf> (13 Nov 2008.)
Canary Wharf Group plc. "One Canada Square," Welcome to the Canary Wharf Groupl plc website. <www.canarywharf.com/mainFrm1.asp?strSelectedSubmenu=Buildings&strSelectedArea=Estate> (13 Nov 2008.)
Skyscraper Source Media. "One Canada Square, Greater London," SkyscraperPage.com. 2008. <skyscraperpage.com/cities/?buildingID=88> (13 Nov 2008.)