Picture above: The future Mrs TenMinJoe demonstrates the famous "I'm a little teapot" belly dance.

"The way you look at me gives me butterflies," she said.

"If I were a crocodile, I would be a happy crocodile, if you were a crocodile too," she said.

I'm still young,
But I know my days are numbered,
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
And so on.

At My Funeral, by the Crash Test Dummies.

For whatever reason you refuse to feel this space we're in,
to know its insanity, really know it,
whatever your particular anaesthetic is,
that you hold on to so desperately,
the thing I mean that makes you think you know who you are,
whatever that thing is you allow to keep you sane,
your ace in the hole,
the psyche that keeps you from trying to guess at what your pimp has in store for you,
whatever keeps you from screaming out at this very moment in absolute and sheer horror,
whatever you fuck your brain with,
whatever that is,
whatever that is,
it's a lie.
It's a lie.

Peace in the Valley, by Alabama 3.

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Vital Statistics

Name: Joe Bryant
Date of birth: 17th January, 1979
Place of birth: London, UK
Location: London, UK

When the end comes, I propose the following groups as E2's potential allies against the darkness:

• The Something Awful goons
• The goths
• The skaters
• The people that do comedy reviews on Amazon products