It's true, I saw it on TV.

If you don't smoke, you will live forever. Unlike those irrational swine with the butts hanging out of their mouths, you won't have to miss out on the smiling, happy faces of your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandchildren. Ha! Ha! Ha! That poor dumb bastard over there, the one with the zippo? His ass is grass, just like it says in Ecclesiastes! He's mortal! His days are numbered!

But not you. You had the good sense to say "no". You'll be here when the sun grows cold, when the stars wink out, and the whole damned universe slows to a crawl.

So don't smoke, kids. Really, I'm tellin' ya this fer ya own good. Eschew the demon nicotine, for he and he alone has brought death into the world.

Wyclef: "Environmental hazard"?! Are you serious? Are you comparing my output to that of a truck, or a steel mill? Or perhaps a solid waste incinerator? Yes, I've probably shortened the life of the average citizen of Cambridge by 0.0001 seconds or some such. God will punish me when my time comes. Of course, it is true that non-smokers will hunt down and kill all smokers, sooner or later. That's why I'm wired with a bomb at all times. I'm nobody's fool, heh heh heh.