I am at an art gallery. I have a big piece of posterboard. One one side the words "This is a telephone" are written. The other side is blank. I dip a telephone into a nearby bucket of paint and write "This is a telephone" on the other side with the telephone. Then this big goth guy at my school sees my art and is obviously enraged by it. "This is crap!" he exclaims. "This is the kind of stuff that makes bears devour their children!" Then I am at some swamp house on the bayou and my sex-ed teacher is there and we are learning about breasts. She pulls out some statistic that southern girls' breasts are bigger on average than those on girls from other regions. But she called them "boobs."

Then I wake up and discover that I have ten minutes to get ready for school.