Off to Osaka today with Chris to find collaborators for our first album and to drum up some hype about us. I made Chris follow my Osaka ritual of eating at the Namba branch of First Kitchen, after hyping it up for an hour or so. I finally realized that that place is just as crap as any other hamburger chain and the only thing that I like about it is the garlic mayonaise you get with the chips.

Many beautiful girls in Osaka but of course we are too shy to talk to any of them. Chris comes up with an idea. The scheme is this; We are University art students making a calendar for a project. It's going to be a page-a-day type calender with a picture of a beautiful girl whose birthday it is on each day. So we write this up in a notebook with a couple of fake names and birthdays to begin with- much like a busker (or 'street artist' as is politically correct nowadays) throwing a couple of coins in his hat to begin with, because no-one wants to be the first to give a bum some money- and presenting this to suitable young things that we come across. Mind you it took us about an hour to work up the courage to approach anybody.

Trying to find a nice hip hop club, end up in some dodgy place called sunshine bar or something. There was about ten people in the whole place. Two nice girls being husseled by some pimpy looking guy and a hot, sullen looking girl at the bar. Of course this girl terrified me. After about half an hour of sitting around trying to look cool, Chris abruptly stands up and announces that he'll be back in about five minutes. Of course he isn't and I'm stuck there sitting in this bar feeling like these old, desperate looking guys you see in bars sometimes. Man, I'm too old for this shit.

Finally the door opens and about ten Sumo wrestlers file through. The air is filled with the smell of the stuff they do their hair with. It's good for a change, something to look at other than the game machine in the corner. They meander over to the until now completly empty dance floor and I'm thinking, "alright, some sumo dancing action." However they just sit around the edge of the dance floor bobbing their heads.

Eventually Chris comes back and says that we have to hurry outside because he's lined up five nineteen year olds. Of course I'm sceptical but I follow him outside and sure enough he's used his charm and/or our fake art project to pull five girls. Chris whispers to me, "I'll take the ugly one." I look at the girls, then at him and ask, "Which one's the ugly one?" Everything seems to be going fine until we are suddenly held up by three or four Japanese hip hoppers. Not held up as in mugged, held up as in they just start talking to us. This of course gives the girls a nice chance to escape but not to worry because now we are invited to a live hip hop event in this club called Neo. Amateur night at the Apollo kind of thing, The weakest link and all. It's a battle event where the best emcees survive to rhyme again in the next round. One of the guys is the DJ and we ask about the possibilty of us joining the fray. That would be cool, our Osaka debut, well actually our all-Japan debut since we have never performed anywhere yet. We should be nervous but as everything is going along so quickly all of a sudden we don't really have time to think about it. Ultimately we were not permitted to join and it's a good thing too, these guys, a lot of these guys were great, especially the guys that stopped us in the street. We would have been slaughtered.

After that it was off to a nearby capsule hotel. This is the second time I've stayed in a capsule hotel with Chris and both times there was always some guy near us that as soon as he removed his clothes, he stunk like hell. What is it with guys? How can they smell so bad? It was pretty vile. Then when I went to my assigned capsule, some guy was sleeping in it! I was eventually assigned another capsule but had to put up with some guy in our section mumbling to his wife (who of course wasn't there) to turn down the heat. This went on all night