homo sapiens bogensis
is a bipedal mammal native to the outer suburbs and train stations of cities in Australia
. It is believed to have evolved from homo sapiens lagernsius
or blue-bellied beer sucker, a truck driving species native to the outback.
The bogan can be readily identified by the flannel
jacket. The dominant male may wear ugh boots
. Females are noticably more circular in shape, and can also be identified by the windcheater tied around the waist. Male, female and immature bogans also have distinctive torso patterning, dependent upon breeding. Common patterns include the "Megadeth
" torso pattern and the "Poison
" torso pattern.
During mating season
both males and females display their cigarette packets prominently, and travel to the local watering hole. Males and females demonstrate maturity through the consumption of distilled alcohol mixed with a sugary, carbonated brown caffeine water particular to the environment. The male calls to the female with the mating call "You fat scrag!".
Outside of mating season bogan males form packs. Packs compete for attention and territory through the use of V8 engines and burnouts
in carparks. Packs not competing with other bogan packs for territory may also seek to prey on other species for the use of pool tables
and beer taps
. Bogans have a few natural predators, notable among them the inner city
metalhead, the unstable and the police