Climbers that are still alive will usually have taken at least one large screamer while climbing. They will usually have seen some pretty scary shit and will definitely have heard about some pretty scary shit.

This node is to collect all of those tales where the true insanity of the sport can be examined in detail by the non climber, and where the climber can chuckle as they read of situations they too may have faced.

Please indicate if said story happened to you, was seen by you or you just heard about it.

I will start the bidding with a story that I heard about. Some climbers were doing an ice route up Crowberry Gully which is on the side of the Buchaile Etive Mor in Scotland. The leader fell and whipped the second off with him. They both came down into a big snow drift. The second seemed to be ok but the leader was lying in the snow moaning in a fetal position. The people attending to him started to examine under his clothing looking for compound fractures or other obvious injuries. Nothing, they kept looking until eventually they were examining the groin area. The scrotum was empty, but over the pubic bone there were two small lumps. The climber's harness had pushed against his groin with such force during the fall that it had pushed his testicles out of his scrotum !!! One of the people taking care of the chap placed a finger over each lump and pushed gently. The two lumps "popped" back into the scrotum and the climber apparently broke out in a smile similar to that of the Mona Lisa.

This story was told to me by the person who had done the testicle popping, he was a member of Glen Coe Mountain rescue team at the time.

The next story comes from the same person as the previous story.

Somebody had been ice climbing. They fell off and when the body was recovered it was missing it's head. The mountain rescue team likes to hand in a full body and they were searching for the head when a call came from the morgue. The head had been found. It was telescoped into the chest cavity, the climber had landed head first.