Day 18 - Looking For A New Apartment
If you haven't read
Day 2 - "The Day of Realisation", please read it first otherwise some of this won't make sense.
I've calmed down now
Ok, I admit it, I was
ranting. Big time. I apologise to those e2 users who can't stand the mundane ranting in the daylogs. I like to think that my rant wasn't
that mundane and provided some entertainment for at least one person. However, I've had just over 2 weeks to
calm down, think about it a bit more, and put some perspective on things. Don't misunderstand the situation though, my flatmate still pops up behind me with a cheery hello (making me jump usually) - an improvement on the "dog meeting master" scenario from before. I've turned into a mindless drone at home - walking around the house expressionless, listening to the chatter but not listening and somehow not losing my rag. Indeed I have mastered the true meaning of "
expressionless", a
disciple of "
passive" and
jedi of "
uncaring". Yes, my
heart has officially turned to stone. If that means I don't have to listen to someone else's problems - all, 3,642 of them (that day), then that's the way I've gotta be. I'm even prepared to be called selfish. And why the hell not? We're all a little
selfish at some time in our life. Well, this is mine.
Sounds like you're trying to justify yourself
Well, maybe I am! I'm not normally so
callous. But this is a time when everything is about me - where I want to live, and who I want to live with. Where I want to work, and what I want to do.
This is about being myself. Something some people find very hard to do. I'm fed up trying to be what everyone thinks I should be, it's time to be me.
On the offensive? What now..?
Sorry...we've deviated a little. I've come to terms with living on my own now. At first I was convinced I'd be lonely but now I just think I'd enjoy my own space having not had it for so long. The balance has been tipped by talking to a couple of my friends who have their own place and having seen how they live, I've gotta admit it looks pretty fun. Although I did have a small
relapse of
faith when my
girlfriend told me she'd never live on her own. At first I was thinking "is this
freaky?" but no, it's called getting
old and needing your space. That's cool. And as I type this, smiling, I think about how great it's going to be...
I picked up a local paper this morning and thumbed through it over lunch. Nothing much today, guess I'll have to keep looking - and sign up with one of the property websites. Fun fun fun...looking for a new place (note my sarcastic tones). Last time I did this I looked at some pretty ropey places. There was the one where someone had died in the closet and it stank of
dead people. There was the one the size of a
fridge. There was the massively
overpriced gorgeous one and there was the last minute find that proved to be
perfect. Almost the
stereotypical set of apartments. And while we're talking stereotypical, jesus, why did God create property agents? Those guys are pure evil.
More to follow...
If you've got any comments or suggestions feel free to /msg me.