For those of you who might someday desire a vasectomy, the above writeups describe said procedure quite accurately and lizard even shows the extent to what might go slightly awry, so that about covers the bases, right? ...

Wrong!...Never let a doctor do his first tug and cut on your balls! Never! Get up off the table, put your pants on and walk, no, run, out the door.

In 1970, give or take a ball, I mean a year, I had what was at that time a relatively new procedure done, a vasectomy. Having met the doctor in an initial consultation with me and my then wife, I felt relatively assured that he knew what he was doing and went ahead with the process. After the anesthetic was administered, the doctor introduced me to another doctor (nervously peering over his shoulder) and said he would be observing the procedure..yea..ok fine.

Next thing I feel is kind of a tugging on what feels like a vein or something. (Thanks to the above writeups, I'm assured it was the vas deferens which needed to be cut and tied, so to speak.) But what I felt was a mild discomforting sort of a pull, in my groin area. After a little "teaching" from my doctor to the "pupil", all was done. Well, that side was done. Now, Doc says,

"So John, if it's alright with you, I'm gonna let Doctor Newbie here do the other side."< br />
OK, well here, in retrospect is where you might question my sanity at the time (or now), for I said, obviously out of body and out of mind,


Now Doctor Newbie steps in and you'll never guess what mild dysfunctional physical handicap Doc. Newbie had...His Hands were shaking!! That's right, I kid you not, his hands were shaking. He was in no condition to drive, much less to seek tubes in my scrotum with which to "snip and tie". But he did and when he finally had one in his grasp, I could have sworn he was now pulling on a vein that was attached to my neck! This yanking and pulling went on for quite some time until my doctor finally, got back in control and literally took the reins (my tubes, my veins) back in his own hands. Whew, Saved, or so I thought, but the damage had been done.

By the time my wife had driven me home the aneseptic had started to wear off, but new and stronger pain pills put me to sleep. And when I woke, well, it's been 30 plus years, and with a little effort, I can still feel the pain. When lizard said it felt like his balls were in a vice, well, that was close. The funny thing was (well, not too funny), the side of my scrotum, ie., the left ball, was just fine, no real excruciating pain, just normal discomfort. But the right nut, where old doctor Newbie had done his very first "snip and tie" at my expense, felt like, not only was it in a vice, but someone had tied a rope to the vice handle and thrown it over Niagara Falls in a barrel!

So there, now that I've calmed down, the good news was and is, the procedure worked: I've had a bit of unprotected sex since then and the old sperm count is still zilch. The bad new is, I still have nightmares about strangers with gloves on, up in my scrotum somewhere, just yanking and pulling, and yanking and pulling, and yanking and pulling, andyanking and pulling, and yanking and pulling>