You know what I mean. The stuff that bloody MTV cranks out all day, every day. Aaliyah. Brandy. Monica. Whatever. Sure, they look pretty enough but the singing! Oh have mercy on me Sweet Lord, what kind of singing is that!? It's just wailing and wailing and background dancers shaking their asses off till the cows come home. And that's not very suitable music for todays frail and impressionable youth, I think you'll agree.

And they're just kids! They don't know anything about life! What kind of friggin right have you got to sing about eternal love when you're what, fifteen? You'd have to be at least 21 to know anything about that. Now Aretha Franklin, she must be pushing 85 or something and she knows about life.

They ain't even got proper names. 'Aaliyah', what kind of name is that? Sounds like bloody Swahili to me.

We used to get proper soul music when I was a lad. Isaac Hayes. Otis Redding. Marvin Gaye (God bless him!). Even Dusty Springfield. Sigh. They just don't make 'em as they used to anymore.