This smiley is vastly superior to the more common =) or :) for
one very obvious reason: it has a nose.
Unimportant, you say? Ha. You're one of them,
aren't you? Yes, I knew it.
Let me explain: I have long been troubled by the shocking proliferation
of noseless smileys condemned for all eternity to a bland and odorless life.
Never shall they know the sweet smell of a rose, the luscious and
mouthwatering scent of hamburgers on a grill, or the piquant
aroma of cat piss drifting through an apartment on a hot, humid day.
Have their creators no sense of decency? Are these irresponsible
netizens not ashamed by their release of defectives into the world?
HAVE YOU NO HONOR? HAVE YOU NO MORALS?
Please, give your smileys a nose. It costs so little and gives so
much. If you don't...we'll have to sic Sally Struthers on your pathetic, delinquent ass. And no one wants that.