I remember when I lived in New York, and I thought my life was going to be picture perfect.

I remember when David and I used to go drive around aimlessly, and we'd spent all night talking and singing until the sun roses.. partially out of being broke, partly just for fun.

I remember the looks on David's face when I found him cheating on me.

I remember driving around fast and wrecklessly, while I cried.. the song Violet was on the radio..

I remember when I left San Francisco, knowing full well I wasn't going back.

I remember visiting Ed during my birthday in 1998, and sitting out on the porch til 5am talking. I never felt so loved, by a friend.

I remember when I was in Seattle, I lost some dignity when I cried when Jeff and I broke up. It hurt, and I knew that day I had lost one of my best friends. I remember when my dog died. It was the first time I really dealt with death.

I remember when Blaine Steinberg shot himself. So many people were going off on how close they were to him, when in reality.. it was all contrived. That was the first time I realized how low people could go.

I remember in high school when I felt stupid, and unwanted.

I remember in college, sitting in a theatre class.. the teacher wanted us all to stand up and say "I am special, I am amazing", and all I could do was run out of the class crying, because I couldn't utter those words.