Most of my thoughts are spent thinking about Sara. I have been analyzing every little detail that I can remember of our encounters, trying to dig up any clues, positive or negative about how she feels about me.
- She smiles when I look at her
- While at the pool hall, often when I look up at her, she is looking at me
- She said she was interested in another date
- She hugs me when we meet or depart at the pool hall
- She sat down close to me and stood right next to me while at the pool hall before our most recent date
- She always returns my emails
- She never initiates emails or phone calls to me
- Sometimes her email responses are just echos of what I say, adding nothing new to keep a conversation going.
- She didn't return my call this weekend
- She wasn't as close to me at our last pool hall gathering
- My friends aren't asking me about her anymore. They probably know more about us than I know about us, since they have known her longer than I have.
I actually thought the negative list would be much longer. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I don't know. I know I need to call her though... I have to know what's going on.
Something just happened. I care not to describe it in detail, but suffice it to say that I haven't been that emotional in years. I found out earlier today a good bit of confirmation that Sara is basically going out with someone else. It didn't impact me until just a few minutes ago. I'm feeling ok now. I'm not angry, I'm not really anything right now. I'll write more later.