I think I'd be more than safe in saying it was you that just attempted contact with me.. I'm too used to the single ring, of the "
call me at work if you're around" sort. Needing reassurance, maybe, that I've not forgotten you, that I am still..
alive, perhaps. I won't be returning the call.. I am beyond such stuff, especially spending money on you that I don't even have to spend. For some reason, though, I decided to respond here.. perhaps it's just part of letting go. I have, of course..
I just don't understand why you insist on dragging it on, pretending there is something there.
I don't need you to care about me, anymore..
I am in love with the day, in all its
confusion and turmoil, in all of the noise that sounds perfect in the way it blends with my soft, quiet music, as opposed to being annoying as it might usually, I am embracing.. everything. I guess that I don't know why, exactly or if it will last, why I don't care that
an odd air fills my lungs and the sky is less than clear, blue.. the sun is so bright,
periodically.
Shiny baby dolphins, I keep thinking of little baby dolphins, small enough to fit in the palm of a hand, small enough to feel like they've a whole universe to explore when occupying only minimal amounts of space with their sweet
sweet matter. Spitting bits of water, tiny bubbles rising from teency airholes on
endearing little noggins. Thank you for that thought, it was you who put it into my head at first and it may seem like I'm dwelling but I've not loved a single thought'y creation so much, not since the baby lambs wrapped in soft, warm burrito shells,
munching on lettuce.
I've avoided daylogs and.. I probably will again, for a while.. I don't particularly like to add to them anymore, for some reason, I've started a
journal elsewhere with random thoughts and day happenings. I think it is best, anyway, that I not pour the utter craziness that has been floating in my head these last weeks into e2. It all seems so
negative and
pointless now, as I sit and smile, almost drowsily (though I'm quite awake)..
I love you more than words, more than
trees..
you.. I'm so enamoured with everything that is you, and the way you make me feel. It's too intense, and even though most times my
words suffice, they just can't seem to now, when I want them to the most. Still.. it makes me smile that you can do that to me.. take my words.. words, words.. can't wait to be close to you again. Sometimes I think perhaps my eyes could show you with tears or.. a certain sort of
intent stare.
Everything is so comforting today.. the warm, cool air.. voices, even
loud angry voices.. paper, letters, words, life.. today is just a day to be, for no other reason than to
take in the universe.