Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages! It has been bought to my attention that using electric razors is bad for your complexion.

Try to refrain from touching the skin while shaving.

For optimum saftey hold razor at least 30cm away from your face, this way there will be no nicks, chips or holes ripped in your absolutely fabulous complexion.

You can now purchase a "Electric razor protection pack", this pack includes an inch thick plastic covering for your face (for use only when shaving), a bottle of moisturiser to apply after you shave (while holding the razor at least 30cm away from you), a brand new bottle of "apply-in-thirty-seconds-and-the-hairs-on-your-face-will-magically-shrivel-up-and-you-will-be-totally-hair-free!" and of course a razor cleaning kit (to get rid of those hairs from the blades - you know the ones that are still on your face? - yeah, those ones).

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to all readers of this daylog, my blabbering and jibbering isn't good to listen to if your trying to maintain a sane lifestyle. Please excuse me while I hit the power swi--