An organization at Carnegie Mellon University that is intended for geeks to congregate and be social, but not necessarily Socialist. In this context, the acronym doesn't officially expand to anything meaningful. The organization was founded in 1988 as a response to the Carnegie Involvement Association (CIA). In most years, KGB participates in Spring Carnival's Booth event, but does not participate in Buggy (although t-shirts produced in the past suggest otherwise).

At a university that already prides itself as a geek haven, KGB is a highly concentrated, highly potent form of geek gathering center. Meetings often trail off into Slashdot-like audio flamewars or geek penis contests, which often cannot be moderated by executive officers. Nevertheless, meetings always bear a consistent structure that adheres to Robert's Rules of Order, and that must always be followed to the letter. "Actual, real, relevant announcements pertinent to the KGB organization" and "schmucks who want to mouth off" always close every meeting, so it's possible to leave before much of the hardcore geekery.

The official newsletter of the KGB is called "Pravda?," published on a (semi-)regular basis by the Corresponding Secretary. All articles are welcomed. "SUBMIT TO PRAVDA?!" is the rallying cry of the CorSec to encourage article submissions.

Because KGB has been around for so long, the CorSec also has to deal with the occasional wacko who happens upon the KGB web site and spouts off via e-mail about why he/she hates Communism etc etc etc. These e-mails are almost always forwarded to the official KGB bboard, where they provide a great sense of comic relief. A small but loyal contingent of the KGB club is Russian, Ukranian, or otherwise part of the former USSR. The club has never been outwardly political in any way, and has made the local newspapers by Discordianistically protesting political protests with nonsensical signs and chants.

KGB meetings reveal several unusually effective means of fundraising. Every member is expected to pay dues of $15 per year. On top of that, every committee created is auctioned off to the highest bidder. Personally, I have paid no more than $5 for a committee, but some bids go higher than $20. "Owning" a committee means virtually nothing -- you designate someone to run your committee, and you can reassign ownership later. The hundred-dollar sandwich is a very disgusting Dagwood-style sandwich where condiments are added only if members pay enough cash. A slave auction, in which people can bid to have a KGB member as their (non-sexual) slave for a preset number of hours, raised more than $900 in 2001. Other events have included bribing executive officers to eat large quantities of wasabi straight out of the container, and the more traditional sale of subversive t-shirts.

The KGB's web site is -- they used to have, but lost it to a domain squatter. There, you can find information about upcoming events including Capture the Flag with Stuff, a version of Capture the Flag played in two eight-story academic buildings (Wean Hall and Doherty Hall) with lots of fun stuff like wands and potions to make things more interesting. Other events include the Underground Tour, which shows all sorts of things like 30-cent soda machines, entrances to steam tunnels, and interesting places to explore. It's a great release from the day's activities.

Current CMU people can read a bboard pertaining to KGB activities at assocs.kgb.