Racist, sexist, slanderous, homophobic, unprofessional, sensationalist and information-free "newspaper" that would print things that would make Hitler feel a bit uncomfortable if they thought there was money in it. The dead-eyed, hate-filled pieces of crusty, tapeworm-laden shit that prolong their worthless lives by writing for this paper gleefully fabricate stories to portray anybody with the slightest conscience or capability for rational thought as being some kind of satanic deviant. (Students? Workshy hypocrites! Foreigners? Untrustworthy criminals! Homosexuals? Murderous paedophiles!)

It tries to pretend it isn't a tabloid, nobody knows why, as the empty headed sheep who buy it would probably still do so if it had typhoid-infected razorblades glued to each page. Everyone I've ever seen reading this paper looked miserable. With the exception of my Gran, who reads it 'cos she doesn't know any better, hinting that at one dim and distant time, the paper actually contained some news.

The Mail is a large contributor to the common opinion that all journalists are scum, and newspapers are increasingly becoming an embarrassing anacronism.