Now this is going to sound crazy... but bear with me. I've already got one roasting out back, so I know it works.

A little while back a contractor friend of mine told me a story about a house he had to build. Exciting shit, right? If not exciting, insightful. The 3000 sq. feet the house would be relegated to were heavily wooded.

Hack, Hack, Saw, Saw

Alright, now you have all these damn stumps, Einstein! Easy cheesy, my man! Kerosene's the plan. At this point you may find yourself questioning the method, my sanity, or both. Hold on.

Here's what you do, Jack: Do some damage to the stump. Axe it, chainsaw or drill mad holes, but make some nicks in the thing. That way it soaks up the kerosene. Then, pour kerosene on it! Go nuts! Make sure to get alot in. A gallon is about enough for your garden variety elm.

Now Leave!

Come back in two to six hours. The Kerosene should have been absorbed and the stump should be well soaked. If the weatherman jives with the plan, set the bitch ablaze. For better results, dump some charcoal on top, this will keep the temperature up and roast that tree good!

Wow, big flame right? It'll die down in just about five or ten. Once it does, the stump will smolder incessantly on-and-off for the next day or two.

Come back in a few days and just kick the sides in if they haven't caved yet. Use a shovel if you're a college boy, but the real men kick!

Enjoy your hole! Blame Nate if you burn your house down!