An English friend explained to me one day about his system for classifying his less enjoyable one night stands. I thought he was making it up, and therefore gave him too much credit for creativity and coolness - I later found out that 'his' terminology was widely known and used in England and possibly other countries as well.
"Right, it goes like this: One Bagger, Double Bagger, Stumper."
He waited eagerly for me to ask the inevitable questions.
"What does that mean?"
He leaned forward.
A One Bagger is a woman you have a one night stand with, who is so ugly that you have to put a paper bag over her head before you can have sex with her. (Note to gender-sensitive people: the person relating the story to me was male, so the examples here are female, but I don't see why it can't apply equally to either sex). A Double Bagger, he proceeded to tell me, is a woman so ugly that not only do you have to cover her head with a paper bag during the act of 'love', but you also need to put a paper bag over your own head so no one recognises you when you leave1.
"What's a Stumper?"
"A stumper is when you have to gnaw your own arm off to get away."
According to Webster 1913, a stumper is:
- One who stumps. By this definition, the arm-chewer and not the poor girl causing the arm-chewing.
- A boastful person. I.e. the guy I was talking to about his sexual conquests.
- A puzzling or incredible story. Just like this one.
1. According to some sources
, the second bag is not for disguise
, but an extra precaution
in case the first bag should fall off during intercourse