WHINE WHINE WHINE
Oh lord. 7 days until I am 25. A quarter of a century. Little to show for it.
I am burned out on trying to reinvent or self-help myself. I go through cycles where I alternate accepting and rejecting myself; where I decide my problem is a lack of stimuli or too much. The internet presses down on me.
Gumbo Ya-Ya (Everybody talks at once.)
Every day just gets away from me. I have this terrible problem of listening to the wrong people, a problem of inaction. I just trade my life away for small, finite pleasures. Watching massive amounts of television. Eating somewhat poorly. I haven't written anything I've been proud of in a few months.
COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN
Having said all that, I am going back to school in a week, taking 18 hours: 2 walking classes, 1 computer science class (in Pascal), 1 Texas Political Science class, a class in Science Fiction and TWO Shakespeare classes, so, it may just be a fat lot of ennui. Next week, I'll be to busy to be bored and I'll be belly-acheing about my course load and not wanting to graduate.
BUT THEN I HAVE TO GET A JOB.
I should kiss my parents feet for sending me to school. I see people working at restaurants and retail and I think "If I play my cards right, I won't ever have to do that again." Don't get me wrong, I could easily end up in a menial job WITH a degree, but the odds are better that I won't. That is a fucking magic ticket from heaven, given how much I loathe and despise most of the jobs I've had in the past 7 years.