So, Jimmy an' me was workin' da' case. You remember da' one, right? Da' gal what was offed over in Brooklyn back in '64? Jeeze, dat case got some print. Me 'n' Jimmy was famous dere for 'bout 15 minutes. I guess dat's how she goes.
Well, anywhosit, we get dis tip 'bout some dude dey called Eggs McMuffins. Me 'n' Jimmy been workin' dem docks fer 20 years, an' ain't neither of us heard nuttin' 'bout no "Eggs McMuffins." Well, it turns out dis McMuffins dude was hired outta Detroit by da Bewleys over on 43rd. You know, da ones what run da hookers downtown?
Well, it turns out dat Mr. McMuffins was more interested in offin' a hooker dan he was in doin' what me 'n' Jimmy likes to do to 'em. I ain't goin' into no details here. You gets my drift, eh?
We pull McMuffins in late one Saturday nite, 'n' he's all Detroit stiff 'n' won't say shit to us. Me 'n' Jimmy pulled da "bad cop, worse cop" on 'im, like we likes ta do. But McMuffins ain't spillin' nuttin.
Then Jimmy gets dis look in his eye like sumpin I ain't never seen before. He almost looks like he's likin' dis hood or sumpin. An' before I can say Jimmy Crack Corn, he's done put his hand down McMuffin's fat ass crack an' stuck his thumb 'n' two fingers up dis hood's ass. An' grinnin' all da time.
Well, McMuffins spilt his guts an' told us da dumpster he put dat broad in an' we had ourselves a collar an' me 'n' Jimmy had ourselves an appointment down at da' diner. I made 'im wash his damn hands 'fore we ordered. I tol' him, "Jimmy, that ain't romance I smell dere."
And them was da headlines in da paper da next day. "How to crack an Egg with one hand."
If I'm lyin' I'm fryin'.