Monkey code, not to be confused with Code Monkey, is a simple and powerful encryption scheme. Traditional encryption is flawed in that it can be cracked. Currently, many forms of encryption could take a very long time to crack, but the prospect of powerful DNA Computers and Quantum Computers may change that one day, leaving monkey code as the only viable means of encryption. Monkey code also has the added advantage of not involving any complicated algorithms that are difficult to understand.

The concept is rather simple, all you need is some data, a monkey*, and a typewriter/computer. A fancy computer is not required, in fact an 8086 with WordPerfect 1 is quite sufficient. Simply give the data you wish to encrypt to the monkey. You may do so with digital data on a storage media, a hard copy, or even telepathically. The monkey will then proceed to encrypt the data on the device you have provided. It is important to not disturb the monkey while this is occurring. The encrypted data will be uncrackable. Please note, the encryption is one way, and encrypting the same data multiple times will not yield the same result. This is truly random encryption suitable for very sensitive data. If you wish, you may give the monkey some salt, however this has not been proved to make any impact on the quality of the encryption.

* Any monkey will suffice, however a small female monkey is preferable. Do not use any other ape species such as a Gorilla