I'm just
not with it today. Don't know if I'm
tired,
bored,
fed up, or what it is, but
I just don't feel like working, and certainly don't feel like having to talk to other people around the
office. Which is a shame, because I've somehow got sucked into going to a
farewell dinner for one of our
contractors. I
really don't want to go.
It'd be a lot easier if
communicating with other people came easily to me, but it really doesn't, so I have to have some sort of
motivation to actually
speak, and it's not often there. I'm the
quiet one. I'm also the one who
procrastinates if he has work to do that involves
speaking to
anybody else, in any form other than
email. This is not a
good thing.
Bah, enough
work talk. I've only got two hours to go, and then I'll hopefully be able to get out of this
dinner early enough to meet
Anna on time.
We've finally got
band practise again this weekend, with one, perhaps two new
drummers coming along. I'm not sure how I feel about this, my
enthusiasm in
Askew has waned lately, due to the fact that the type of
music I
really want to do doesn't quite match up to the ideas of the
rest of the band.
Grr,
my brain isn't working. I don't even know how I feel about most of this stuff. It's just
frustrating, things are moving too slowly lately... I want to get
singing lessons, but I need to save for a
car first so I can actually get to them, and that'll probably take at least 6 months. I want to get my damn
uni degree over and done with, but I haven't even started my
final year yet, and I don't know how well I'm going to be able to
juggle uni and work. I really really want to
move out with
Anna, get out of my
parents place, be together every day, but that's not going to happen for 2 years at the
earliest. So until any of these things happen, it's a case of
Same Shit, Different Day. (Yes, I did just read
Dreamcatcher, if you're wondering)
The problem with my job, actually, is that it's a really good one, and I actually enjoy it some of the time.
Huh? Yeh, but then there's all the
expectations of taking my job seriously enough to do
overtime, be
on call, and go out for
drinks with the rest of the team.
TEAM. I'm not good in a team,
I like to work alone.
Communication is not my
strong point.
OK, I'm
rambling again. I hope
Anna will be able to hypnotise me sometime this year, and help my
habitual procrastination and my lack of
motivation. I don't know if it works like that, but I'd like it to.
Meh.