I'm just not with it today. Don't know if I'm tired, bored, fed up, or what it is, but I just don't feel like working, and certainly don't feel like having to talk to other people around the office. Which is a shame, because I've somehow got sucked into going to a farewell dinner for one of our contractors. I really don't want to go.

It'd be a lot easier if communicating with other people came easily to me, but it really doesn't, so I have to have some sort of motivation to actually speak, and it's not often there. I'm the quiet one. I'm also the one who procrastinates if he has work to do that involves speaking to anybody else, in any form other than email. This is not a good thing.

Bah, enough work talk. I've only got two hours to go, and then I'll hopefully be able to get out of this dinner early enough to meet Anna on time.

We've finally got band practise again this weekend, with one, perhaps two new drummers coming along. I'm not sure how I feel about this, my enthusiasm in Askew has waned lately, due to the fact that the type of music I really want to do doesn't quite match up to the ideas of the rest of the band.

Grr, my brain isn't working. I don't even know how I feel about most of this stuff. It's just frustrating, things are moving too slowly lately... I want to get singing lessons, but I need to save for a car first so I can actually get to them, and that'll probably take at least 6 months. I want to get my damn uni degree over and done with, but I haven't even started my final year yet, and I don't know how well I'm going to be able to juggle uni and work. I really really want to move out with Anna, get out of my parents place, be together every day, but that's not going to happen for 2 years at the earliest. So until any of these things happen, it's a case of Same Shit, Different Day. (Yes, I did just read Dreamcatcher, if you're wondering)

The problem with my job, actually, is that it's a really good one, and I actually enjoy it some of the time. Huh? Yeh, but then there's all the expectations of taking my job seriously enough to do overtime, be on call, and go out for drinks with the rest of the team. TEAM. I'm not good in a team, I like to work alone. Communication is not my strong point.

OK, I'm rambling again. I hope Anna will be able to hypnotise me sometime this year, and help my habitual procrastination and my lack of motivation. I don't know if it works like that, but I'd like it to.