Well, my eighteen month sabbatical from being a productive member society is finally over. I’d like to say that during that time I took the opportunity to finally pen the Great American Novel, find a cure for AIDS, feed the hungry, find homes for the homeless, teach adults to read, mentor underprivileged kids from broken homes, adopt a pet from my local animal shelter, plant some trees to help the environment and read to the elderly who destined to spend their waning days confined to a nursing home.
Instead, one day while I was stretched out on my couch gazing at my navel I discovered that it’s possible to watch nothing but “judge” shows from nine in the morning until six at night. It was quite the revelation.
9:00 – 10:00 – The People’s Court with the “hottest judge on television”, Marilyn Milan. As far as judges go, she ain’t bad.
10:00 – 11:00 – Divorce Court, you’d be surprised what pushes some peoples buttons and what they fight over.
11:00 – 12:00 – Judge Hatchett, I don’t know about you but with a last name like that I don’t know if I’d want to get on her wrong side.
12:00 – 1:00 – Judge Judy, what can I say? I’ll let her speak for herself.
"Do you know when a gift becomes a loan? When the relationship is over. Have you ever heard that, sir? Well, neither have I.
I just made it up. I'm going to put it on coffee mugs."
"Sir, the table didn't have three beers and get up and move!!!"
And those are just two of my favorites, there’s so many more that at times it boggles my mind.
1:00 – 2:00 – Judge Christine, more an informal type of judge, ya know, first name basis and projecting warmth and compassion, a “kinder, gentler” judge.
2:00 – 3:00 - Judge Alex, Hispanic ex cop turned lawyer turned prosecutor turned judge. Doesn’t take too much shit from either the plaintiff or the defendant. The most boring of the bunch.
3:00 – 4:00 – Judge Joe Brown, folksy down home black dude who wears a ten gallon hat, cowboy boots and dispenses “Texas style” justice.
4:00 – 5:00 – Judge Mathis another black dude and a rags to riches story. A once troubled youth who started out in the ghettos of Detroit and spent some time behind bars. While in prison became a lawyer and later a judge. Has a penchant for dealing out “street justice”.
You try to maintain that hectic schedule for more than a month or so and you’ll see what I was up against. A cruel mistress, it was both grueling and boring at the same time.
Especially when they went into reruns.
But now, thanks to the fine folks a Citigroup, I was able to resurrect my career and assume my rightful place in the world as a Business Systems Analyst, a senior one at that. The job comes with some great perks such as health insurance, 401K, dental coverage, vision care and life insurance. So far, the people seem nice and I think I’m acclimating into the environment quite well. I’ve got what seems to be a rejuvenated sense of purpose and a dedication heretofore which I thought would be impossible for one such as myself considering my advanced years.
Oh yeah, this is my first node from work in a long, long time.
Some things never change…