Being a fine, upstanding, belligerent bastard
, I too took part in the muddy
festivities at Chez Wonko. How could I resist a chance to enliven my otherwise dull and mudless summer? It also presented itself as the perfect chance to get dirty and grope unsuspecting participants. Given the prestigious honor of cook
for the evening, I was forced to remain semi-sober
in order to prepare the fine feast that the thankless bastards
(that's partygoers to you kids out there in TV land
) later consumed. By the by it was delicious
if I do say so myself.
The Blue Man (WonkoDSane) and the Green-Headed Wonder (his roomie) were the perfect hosts providing alcohol and mud to all who would partake. After the mud soaked free for all the actual matches began as was outlined by Wonko. I have to say that never so completly have I experienced the sensory numbing effects of alcohol. The morning after it looked as though I had practiced gymnastics on a trampoline coverd in glass. I had slashes (not cuts mind you, but slashes) on both knees, gouges in my hands, various and sundry other wounds in exotic locales best not discussed in mixed company. My crowning achievement in self mutilation was a giant, gaping HOLE in the bottom of my foot that I had to call out of work for, as I cannot stand for 8 hours with half of my foot missing. I have to say that it was worth it and if you have the means I highly suggest you do it. I do believe that the best part of the entire thing was not having to clean up afterward. Cleaning myself was chore enough. I was digging mud out of my ears for days afterward...try explaining THAT to friends and loved ones!
The event was overall an orgy of food, fun, mud and beer and it don't get no better than that.