I'm hormonal, I'm ill from flu and I've just given up nicotine and yet people are expecting me to be normal. All the customers at work, all the people I met during my day to day life.

You, yes, you. Crazy woman in Kwiksave.
I saw how you looked at me when I dropped that can of beans in aisle three and burst into tears.

And you, little old lady with the dog
Why don't you move over?!? Why don't you walk on the other side of the path?? ARGH!

And as for you????
Dammit. I won't even start with you.

Gosh, Bob. What's up with her??

Perhaps I should be carrying a new business card and hand it to every person I see -

|    a) SHE'S IN COLD TURKEY          |
|    b) YES, IT'S TTOTM               |
|    c) SHE HAS FLU                   |
|    d) YOU'RE A COMPLETE ****        |
It's been four days since I had a cigarette.

Four whole days without nicotine.

Four whole days without the drug I've been addicted to for eight years.

It feels like a lifetime. Anyone who has ever given up the cancer sticks or has even ever tried will understand what I am saying. I decided to go completely cold turkey, no patches, no life saving gum, nothing. I have to say it's a whole new experience, so much so that I am writing my first ever daylog about it. I have never been so on edge and so twitchy. Days one and two were OK, I was coughing too much to think about it and the thought of a cigarette made me sick. Day three, well, I slept all day so that was OK. But today? Today was a whole new ball game.

I suppose I've chosen to do this at completely the wrong time of the month (as it were). I don't know what my boyfriend is making of the last few days but he keeps saying that it's nothing.

You know how it goes..

  • I scream and shout like the banshee from hell.
  • He rightly assumes that it's nothing to do with him and carries on regardless.
  • This action, well, we all know it just makes things worse.
  • So I throw something across the room.
  • Storm out.
  • Half an hour later I'm the biggest pile of snot rags and wringing wet tissues that you can find.
  • I apologise profusely.
  • He says it's nothing.

    I just tried to rip off your head and spit down your windpipe
    for simply not knowing what you want to eat and you say it's nothing??

That boy is totally crazy.

but I love him all the more for it