i have an extreme command of the English language as well as several others, including Luciferian, Enochian, Asmodeish, and Japanese, so if you are lucky I will contribute some tomes about those languages but probably I will focus on what it takes to become a good necromancer because there is much less about that out there on the Internet.

first I should say that I am not a pro necromancer yet but I’m getting pretty close and my master (who I will talk about another time) says I have “the dark spark” innate in all truly great necromancers. sometimes I feel like it’s all an uphill battle and I am not actually getting any closer to summoning the dead but when that feeling comes over me I just get myself pumped up by reminding myself that I have THE DARK SPARK. I yell it from my porch and I hear the dogs howl their agreement. I scream it proud and loud at the top of my lungs and I scream it into the faces of people on the street but all they do is prove that the world isn’t ready for the kind of HEAT I’m bringing and that they are close-minded assholes. So I go back to my sanctum and try to think about how I can refine my strongest INCANTATIONS and ATTACK SPELLS.

so even though I’m not a master yet I still know more than pretty much everyone else I know so I hope some people can learn from me if they want to. As for me I am 21 years old and I live in Valdosta, Georgia but actually I seceded my personal property from the USA because of prohibitive necromancy laws and started a micronation. So really I live in the BLACKTHORNE MANOR REPUBLIC, which is the acre my family owns. But for official papers and forms and stuff I just write VALDOSTA because it is easier to write.

I keep messing up on smoke potions and escape spells which will probably be a problem sometime so recently I am working on my flips. FLIPPING has been used as a dodge technique for thousands of years and all those kung-gu guys cant be wrong, especially if the art has lasted this long. so in my backyard I spread out a bunch of comforters and an air mattress and I practice doing the flips. Sometimes I think about Helen naked when I practice because it keeps my flips ROCK HARD. I release my chi (energy) at the beginning of each flip with a feral snarl that explodes into a rage-filled "HEYAGH!" And then I do the flip. front-ways is no problem and I can land it. back-ways is more difficult and sometimes I fall but when I get hurt I just take it as a lesson in pain endurance and meditate for a few minutes before I go back to practice. my neighbor says he has no patients for my yelling and he thought I was starting a fight club back there (he wishes) but then when he saw it was just me practicing flips in my NECROMANCER ROBES he called me a disrespectful name and told me to “shut the fuck up”. my neighbor is KIRK HALE and he was in my chemistry class in high school and from one of my nine mouths I will sing the demon song that ends his world. i have had his name on a list since before the dawn of time.

that is all for now but i will write back soon with some more general information about how to get started in the dark arts. for now just remember to tend well to your dark spark. thanks.