New scienti-fictive research has recently revealed startling and disturbing coincidences between Homo S. Exual and Fun D. A. Mentalist! Just look at these ASTOUNDING and AMAZING facts!!:
Mr. Mentalist uses blatant tactics of recruitment to swell the flock ... and gets tax breaks for doing so!
M. Sexual is too busy worrying about the next Circuit party to recruit ... and receives no tax breaks for not doing so!
In 1983, M. Sexual accuses Mr. Mentalist of using the politics of fear to pander to would be homophobes!
In 1983, Mr. Mentalist accuses M. Sexual of using the politics of dancing to pander to would be homosexuals!
In 1978, Mr. Mentalist immortalizes the use of the twinkie defense in a famous court trial!
Just twenty-three years later, in 2001, M. Sexual uses a twinkie and narrowly avoids a court trial which would have been famous!!
Mr. Mentalist never had a secretary named Kennedy or Lincoln!
M. Sexual never had a secretary not named Lance or Keesheanna!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THESE SHOCKING AND REVEALING FACTS?
Then send $77.69 and a SASE to:
AMAZING FACTS
6969 Reciprocal Way
Gloryuddalawd, TN 77766-669
In return, you will receive our FREE MONTHLY NEWSLETTER chock full of the latest in scienti-fictive findings and a commemorative coin from The Tammy Faye Bakker-Messner Franklin Mint featuring graven images of a fish on the obverse and a Hostess Twinkie on the reverse! Then each and every month you'll continue to receive your freshly mimeographed newsletter, guaranteed to make you high on knowledge! Supplies are limited so
DON'T DELAY, SEND YOUR CHECK OR MONEY ORDER TODAY!!!
This offer void where prohibited by Comstock laws, and in Tennessee.