I was in bed with Pamela Smart, in my room at my mother’s house. We laughed, and fooled around for a bit, then took a break to have a cigarette or two. I hadn’t seen her since we were in grade six together, and I remembered that she had wanted to be a teacher back then. I wondered if she was still planning on doing it.

We returned to bed, and I marveled at how she acted just like Jessica. It occurred to me then that Jes might not appreciate my behavior towards Pam... Jes was off filming a new movie, I think it was a Lord of The Flies remake, and she was one of the people who get killed off early on.

After Pam and I had finished, she asked me how she was in bed. I told her she was great, and asked how I was. “Well,” she said, “I enjoyed it, but I didn’t see God, or anything...”


I was a superhero, with Maggie the Sheepdog as one of my sidekicks, and some mystery fellow as another.

Somehow, I ended up getting into a fistfight with Bruce Campbell, who was going out with one of my female acquaintances... And that’s when it dawned on me; Bruce Campbell isn’t human. “He’s a demon,” I thought to myself, as he continued to beat me down, shrugging off even my mightiest super-blows...” I gotta warn everyone, he’s not human....”

I think he dumped my body in a grain silo.