I didn't want anything for Christmas

Well, that's what I said, at least. I would have enjoyed getting a few books, or maybe a new beard trimmer, but I wasn't thinking of those things when my parents (the only people I figured I'd get presents from this year), asked me what I wanted.

"Maybe a coffee maker," I said. "Actually, on second thought, I don't think I even have any place in my kitchen where I could put one, so I don't know, anything."

So christmas morning, I got through some very decent gifts of fine clothing, to the last box. It was big, and I knew it was a coffee maker.

I tried to hide the look of disappointment on my face from my family. It wasn't that I don't want a coffee-maker, I just don't feel like I need one. I usually don't have time to get up and make coffee before I go to work, and there's already one at the office which spews out some of the most nasty brew I've ever drank. I rarely have the time or the inclination to brew a pot at home (much less clean the pot), and I'm the only person in the house who drinks it.

I realized I should have been more assertive in telling my mom that the wish for a coffee maker was a mistake. "DON'T get me a coffee maker," I should have said. "I already have more than what I need, and I don't know where to put it all...don't weigh me down with more stuff, please."

It's not that I'm not grateful to them for getting me something I said I wanted. It's not that I don't appreciate a generous gift. I've never taken back a gift someone gave me, but now I'm wondering whether to make an exception. If I take this coffee maker out of its box, It's going to be used only occasionally, but will constantly be additional clutter in my kitchen. If I don't take it out of the box, I'll still have to put it somewhere (prolly the attic or garage), and I'll wonder what the point of having gotten it was. A few years from now, I may buy a house with more room, and I can use it then, but it seems silly to be carrying around a superfluous coffee maker until then. After all, in the 8 years I've been drinking coffee regularly, I've never owned a coffee maker, and I've done fine for myself.

I'm not disappointed that I got a coffee maker when I really wanted something else. Sure a few interesting books or a new beard trimmer might have been nice, but I hardly NEED those, either. I'm really disappointed by myself. That I made myself such a hard person to shop for, only to have someone give me something that actually does more to inconvenience me than anything else. That I didn't just tell my parents to take whatever they were going to use to buy me presents this year and give some durable shoes to people who don't have any.

Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad. I love you, but I hate this coffee maker.