In some suspiciously foreign
countries, there is a sinister alternative to the wholesome Amurrican
screw-in light bulb, known as the bayonet
No one knows whether this threat to our way of illumination arose out of innocent mechanical engineering efforts, a socialist conspiracy, or the anemic diet of said foreigners. I suspect it had to do with use in marine or otherwise damp environments, where corrosion would inevitably make screw-in bulbs difficult to remove from their sockets.
Whatever its origin and purpose, this perversion of incandescence takes the form of a lightbulb with no grooves on the metal base, but instead a pair of opposed prongs about 2 millimeters long, designed to fit into corresponding L-shaped slots in a similarly grooveless socket. To install, press the bulb into the spring-loaded socket and apply a quarter-turn of rotation. Then release pressure, allowing the prongs to seat themselves in the detents at the end of the slots that prevent unsavory counter-revolutionary forces from loosening the bulb.
Right-thinking citizens will naturally reject this effete and unnecessary attempt to insert the thin end of the Metric wedge into the great edifice of Imperial Measures.
Oceania has ALWAYS been at war with Eastasia.