Here's a letter to the object of my high school affection that I'll never mail.

I don’t love you anymore, Kristi.

I will no longer be your emotional chew toy, crutch, or excuse. For the first time ever, I’m going to admit that I was wrong. You aren’t worthy of my undying affection. You manipulate me into obeying your every command. Until this moment, I dreamed only of you, and I realize now that that’s exactly how you wanted it.

You are conceited and spiteful. You wish all to serve you, but are unwilling to serve any but yourself.

There is, however, a love I will always feel for you, and that is as my friend. I value my friends above anything else and regard them as my own blood. But that is the only honor I will give you now.

I know it isn’t entirely your fault. If I could change what your father did to you, I would. But after five years of knowing you, that is no longer a valid excuse. I’ve told you how to fix it, but you ignore me. I’ve threatened to make you fix it, but you pump me full of lies and false hope.

It’s time for both of us to grow up. I need to move beyond my schoolboy adoration of you, and you need to poke your head up into the real world. The world I’ve been living in for so long now.

I’m tired, and I’m jealous of your men, and I’m lonely, and I do wholeheartedly miss you, but I no longer love you.