I found out by accident, really. There I was, sitting in front of the computer, bored, and suddenly I just stuck my finger in my right ear. My pinky, really. Now this sounds gross, but it really isn't. I have very clean ears. No wax in there. Every doctor who has ever looked in my ears has commented on it. "Wow, those are some clean ears," they say.

So my pinky is in my ear and I notice how warm it is in there. So warm. I instant message my friend, Berwyn. "My ear is really warm," I say. He thinks I mean outside. "No, inside," I say. Now I sound weird. What am I doing in my ear, he wants to know. It was just an impulse. Pinky in the ear.

The inside of my ear is so warm that I picture myself baking bread in there. Tiny bread. Like a tiny brick oven, I would push the tiny bread in there with a tiny stick. Like a pizza oven. This makes me laugh. This makes me feel so quirky. Tiny bread. Scoresby looks at me like I'm crazy when I tell him all of this. It makes me wonder, am I crazy or am I an undiscovered comedic genuis? Most likely neither.