I decided to take to today to express my personal beliefs as they currently stand.
First off, I do not believe in Gods, I do not believe in a God, I do believe in what I see that is holy, and that is nature. I believe that the spirit of nature, the natural order that is what is holy and that is what matters. Religions, Occultism, etc. do not matter in my view, I do not need to belong to something to know I exist. I feel (as many philosophers have stated) that by existing I know I exist, and that is enough for me. To exist means little, I am simply here and must live my life. But to me the spiritual has always been important. But I do not see the spiritual in the guises that many others do. I do not see it in the rapt ectasies of the Christian religion, the weak Old God loving Wicca religion, etc. etc. I see it as I said in nature.
Let me qualify myself a bit. I have studied many religions and spiritualities. From Satanism to Christianity to many of the "Pagan" religions which dot this landscape. What I notice in all is that only a few are actually strong within their world view, most seem to be weakly holding on to something as the tide of the modern world pulls them under. That is not how I feel, I feel that though I hate this world as it is with a passion, the times which I can touch the olden realm is not reciting rituals that are loosly based upon Heathen rituals, or by praying to a non-existent God. I feel powerful when the spirit and powers of nature are close and I can tap into them with my own spirit without any rituals or mandates.
I hate religions and others so strongly that I have to admit to myself that I must reject them to walk my own, lonely path.
For a long time I followed Budha, but then I realized that enforcing an alien religion upon myself was not healthy and it was in fact impacting my well-being. I decided to look into the religions of the West, the non-Christian ones. Doing so I found Asatru, Wicca, etc. And though the Norse religion fitted me better, it still was not right, and I could never feel that Wicca was anything that I'd want to be involved in. Part of this was because I felt (and still do) that such religions are making it all up, attempting to re-create something that Christianity brutally and disgustingly destroyed around a thousand years ago. But they struck me as being untrue, false in some intrinsic was, and though I salute their attempts, it just is too false to me. Which led to the sensation that the Old Gods will never be able to be tapped into again, for their mysteries have been lost!
I went into Satanism, but found that it too was a lie, though many of the philosophies of people like Aleister Crowely and Anton LaVey suited me. So I took the strong philosophies of rejecting the weak and standing strong and went elsewhere. Since then though I have come to the conlusion, as I stated in the beginning, that all religions are false and not for me, that I must find my own spirituality in the heathen landscape around me. I feel myself stronger as a result, happier, more secure. Rather then worrying about the meaning of it all and choosing some religion to find an answer I'll let the questions go un-answered and know what I know - that the spirit of nature is strong, and to be strong I must be part of the very essence of nature! Not a part of a religion diluting the pure power of nature.
This is what I believe, and I feel strong because of it. And I hope you didn't mind reading this.