Fifteen years on, there are not one, not two, but three kinds of "hoverboard" out there for consideration. One is a device popularly marketed
as such in 2015
which, critically, DOES NOT HOVER
. It is instead a two-wheeled battery-powered standing scooter
. Obviously, marketed as a hoverboard because "two-wheeled battery-powered standing scooter" sounds vaguely like something an elderly person would ride in the cafeteria line. But the key takeaway is that with this version of the hoverboard, there is no goddamn hovering going on. Try and take it out over a lake, and you'll sink (and probably be electrocuted).
Now, the other hoverboards which came out late in 2015, they're the real deal. One is a sort of bulky, boxy, fan-powered thing
which can carry you triumphantly around for all of six minutes. The other, light years cooler to look at, is a maglev
device which can carry you around all day -- provided that you spend all day in this one skate park built by Lexus
, where a network of underground magnetic rails
do the heavy lifting to keep a person-occupied hoverboard off the ground.
Not to pooh-pooh these innovations too much. After all, by today's standards, the first cars
and mobile phones
were boxy and inefficient and a far cry from the sleek modern marvels (even the first horse
was just a tiny thing). So good on science
to advancing us to what will surely be looked back upon by slackers flying every which way as the humble beginnings of a true future hoverboard revolution
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