The fax machine whirs into life but before you get a chance to read the sheet that spools out your cellphone goes.

It's me. I can't talk for long...I'm in great danger...

It's Steve.

I think someone's following me. Did you get the fax?

You say "Yeah. Just got it now. What is it?"

I'm getting close now. I managed to sneak into a meeting. Jesus it was hard. They had goons everywhere. I copied their demands...that's what I faxed you. Read it now.

The fax appears to be some kind of guide to make everything acceptable for older people. The tone is homely but authoritarian. You wonder what lengths these people will go to if their demands are not met.

Concerned Parents of Everythingians

You still there...What's that noise?...There's someone...CLICK.

The line is dead. That was the first time anyone got close to the shadowy concerned parents. Steve was a good man. You shiver and wonder what their next move will be.

Inspired by Jet-poop's node for the ages, a warped desire to make insulting softlinks, the layout of the qwerty keyboard, and inaccurate typing.