South Park quote of the day: "Dude! That's some fucked-up shit!"

So today I heard someone else use my line.

"Ever hear of Seals and Crofts? You know... 'Summer Breeze... makes me feel fine..' Old 70's pop duo?"

Some exposition: For the past couple months I have been practically living in the smoking room of the cafe. There is where I perch myself after I get off work, right next to the Men's Room with my laptop unfurled on a two-seater table with my feet outstretched so no one else will feel compelled to intrude on my pseudo privacy. Yes, I've been antisocial of late. So what?

So, two weeks ago there's this couple of girls, students, who came in late, late, late at night- and kept coming back. A tall brunette and a short redhead. The redhead (of course) got my immediate attention. She's attractive and nice to look at, she's outspoken, intelligent, witty, charming and fun. The cafe being what it is, a social mecca in disguise, I've had plenty of conversations with these young ladies. I have been caught, countless times, admiring the view of this cute redhead. Her name is Jaimie. En la francais, that means "I Love" if you put in an apostrophe right after the "J."

And she's been a willing participant in this silent flirtation, occasionally looking back at me and smiling coyly, cutely. What fun, right? Yes, she's unbelieveably too young for me, but it's nice to flirt.

Tonight I am sitting here at the cafe (where else would I be?) and she's talking to some newly-met friends, getting to know each other. One of the people she's talking to announces that they are from Texas. "Really?" Jaimie says. "My step-dad is from Texas, too. Which part are you from?"

"San Antonio," says the other young woman.

"Really?" Jaimie replies excitedly. "So is he! Ever hear of Seals and Crofts?...."

I had been sitting quietly in front of my laptop, typing away and reading the odd node on E2, totally oblivious to the world around me. But when those words which I am so used to hearing from my own lips passed through hers, I was all ears. I stopped typing and turned bodily in her direction, raptly paying attention. I was staring at her openly, with my eyebrows arched in surprise.

She noticed my stare. "What?" she asked.

I blinked once, twice and then asked, "Is Dash Crofts really your step-dad?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Because Jim Seals is my uncle. Dan Seals is my dad. My dad lives next door to yours. I think we met once, years ago, just after your mom married Dash. You were about nine years old at the time." Her mouth hung open, aghast at this information. I could almost see the words transcribe themselves across her forehead, Oh, shit! And I've been flirting with this guy! Small fucking world! To confirm my claim, I told her the name of the street our parents live on and showed her my ID. I added a special touch by mentioning her step-brother and his wife by name, pointedly telling her that I lived with her step-brother for a year quite some time ago. I told her this while watching her eyes get big as saucers. In some strange way, I am now kind of disappointed. This might mean the end of some healthy flirtation which I was really enjoying dammit.

My family affairs have, for the first time, stealthily snuck into my lame-duck love life. I don't know if I should feel depressed, angry or confused. Faizi, her step-brother and Dash Croft's adopted son, is my cousin, you see. I've been flirting with my cousin's step-sister. Meanwhile, another cousin of mine is married to my sister (not blood related to me, though... it's an even longer story).

Question: who's the forbidden fruit here? And why does this shit have to occur only in Tennessee?