October 9, 2000 (idea)

It was just one of those weekends. You know, the kind where you say "I'm gonna get things done", but what you say and what you do are two seperate things. I went to a college where several friends of mine started going a couple of years ago. I was excited for the first time I can remember in several years. I remembered all the big trouble we would get into back in the day. My how things change! People change. Times change. Maybe I changed too much. Over the years I seem to have developed a tendency to find faults in people. Then if there is any possibility of conflict between us, I avoid them. What's wrong with me? Instead of seeing some of my best friends, all I could see was egotistical rich college boys. All they could talk about was how many times a week they get laid and how easy college girls are. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it was so atypical of what I knew of them that I only saw them as some scumbag college kids instead of my best friends.

Needless to say, I had a miserable trip. They brought me to an off-campus party last night, which was kind of cool. I figured we'd talk some, have fun, and I'd meet some people. 5 minutes after we got there, they were nowhere to be found. Later on I found out that they had left to go to "another party". We were supposed to hang out today and go sky diving, but I left, figuring that they'd rather go muff diving. Not that there's anything wrong with that! But out of the time we spent together, I'd say that 10 minutes was spent reminiscing or talking about anything relevant. A disappointing trip, to say the least. I wanted to go sky diving!

So here I am again. Alone. Thinking. Staring at the computer screen. Waiting. Wondering if I should have just had a good time Pondering the existence of God. Looking at all the other things I wanted to do this weekend, but never got around to doing. Yep, it was one of those weekends alright.

"Sorry, suicide is not an option at your level."