Jeez. (dont confuse with jizz). what a truly horrible year this has been. just like from that intro song on Friends. Haven't been your day, your week, or even a year. I think most people go through this back in highschool or something. bleh, puberty. Nothing out of ordinary i might add. girls, school, work, etc etc.> it's true. When a hobby changes into something eeeeeeeeeevil - work it sucks. suddenly there are a lot of details that you really dont care for. co-workers to talk to. boss! work-day. on the plus side - money. but still it's work. then there's school. all my friends are there - and im fuckin' workin full-time - 60 hour weeks no less. plus the fact that i got kicked out. i mean i'm not dumb!. I'm just an epitome of lazyness. (weeee i learned a new word! epitome.) anyhow ill be back there in a few months. mean-while my coworkers are all nineteen. plus very immature. lovely aint it ? why am i even writing it here? hopefully i can laugh when lookin' back at this. don't wanna whine at my friends. they truly are great people for puttin up with me. but they got problems too. (heh dont' we all).fucking bills. my salary is great. never for the life of me could i imagine that i would be earned this much. quite frankly, i sometimes doubt that im worth that much. but i like it. so i'm not going to tell them to lower it. unfortunately me being the responsible asshole i must work it off. on the other hand im a contractor - so every minute is paid for. heh. i've been spending too much money lately. i've only saved about 30% of my income. Shitty. girls...girls..heh. fuckin' relationships. why can't it be - "girl. you're pretty. you're smart. you turn me on. i wanna hug you, and i wanna fuck you. why dont we be together untill it runs out for one of us"? no bullshit. no pretending. just truth. be blunt. why not? dont say the "forever" bullshit. nothing is forever. don't expect much. let everything extra be a pleasant suprise. be true to your promises. dont play around.'s never like that is it? it always has to be half truths and someone getting hurt. someone always crying, and someone always beeing depressed. Someone always havin to deal, and someone always trying to forget. Hey, i've made a mistake. i admited it! yes, i'm fucked up! i know! but tell me what you want! i dont understand! You giving me mixed signals. I've never been too bright in this regard. bah. jesus. why the fuck am i doing this? why i am here? why are we all here?

bool Alive = true; while(Alive) { breath-in(); breath-out(); }

dont press esc in text box it's scary. blah. maybe i just need to booze again. sigh. heh.

/me shakes like a wet dog. let the water fly off. what did i do today? was a good day. i woke up at 4pm. leetness! really. 12 hours of sleep is mighty good. then i played homeworld for a bit. what a cool game. leet. i can prolly play for a long time. hour a day, for a few months. then i played tanarus. another game that kicks ass. i think i've been gaining score too much in the newbie arenas so i was forced to play in open. got roasted by pros so many times that my kill/death ratio droped to just above 1.5..then i tried to create a tape ( yes a tape!! i dont want a cdplayer coz i want an mp3 one but waitin for something cheap!) but the fuckin tape recorder died or something. then me and byron and mike went to UBC to study in Koerner. we got there at approximately 9.20. Considering that it closes at 11 we didn't have much time. Then Trish and Zig called byron again. I of course didn't know it (i thought i was talkin to trish only) and said few things on the phone that i perhaps shouldn't have said pissed..and ill be fuckin damned if i let you mess me up any more! ...then sab called my cell so i had to talk to her for half an hour. eventually around 10 i got to studying. never fail your courses. once you understand how simple that stuff is, it just makes you feel even stupider. around 11 library staff kicked us out. we went to play ddr. byron is crazy. hehe if alana is a dancing queen, byron is the king. i gave mike a ride back to New Westminster. He was riding shotgun and pretending to give me a blow job when we were beside a cab. So embarassing. People inside were laughing at us, and then slowed down. hehe. Before we got to new west we stopped at Subway. I love sandwiches with extra onions. stinks as hell but fun. the guy behind the counter had a curious accent. i asked him where he was from - apparently quebec. that made me think about melodrame right away. he's from around there somewhere too. on the way back me and byron listened to n'sync. i have become everything that i loathed. hehe. anyhow then - is now. and im getting out of here.