up and down and back again

I've had enough of it here. I wanna go home. This place wears you down. Everyone is tired. Everyone is sick of frantic socialising every night. Tonight will be even worse, but thats OK because its our last night. One last night of total debauchery and then home.

Even that inspires a little trepidation in me. Do I actually have a home? Or is it just that place where I live? This exhausting little sojourn away from my life has made it all distant. I was not very happy in that life when I was there 3 weeks ago. what am I going back to?. Will I be as miserable as I was before?. I can't tell. Everything is so far away.

Yesterday I got a nibble from a funky little LA based technology firm. I sent them my cv a couple of weeks ago just for the hell of it. They want to talk to me before I leave the states if possible. I let them know my itinerary and the fact that I will be in LA on Saturday. I am waiting to hear back. What am I going to do if they are interested? I had made my decision dammit. I had told Object that I would work for them in Melbourne. I had decided to turn down Logica's offer and I had notified AC of my intentions.... Now What?. I havent signed anything - this could be a really good opportunity - should I change my mind?. please someone tell me what to do.

These days I wish someone else would take responsibility for my life. who am I?

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