Catnip
Two men are peering into a largish cardboard box which, assuming you don't have a contact at Industrial Light and Magic, the audience can't see into.
Fred: It looks like a kitten to me.
Ted: well, maybe, but...but it has wings.
Fred: But it's so cute!
Ted: ...Lizard wings.
Fred: And that nose, and the whiskers. It's adorable.
Ted: It looks like a Gremlin.
Fred: See? There you go. Gremlins are cute.
Ted: er.
Fred puts his hand in the box.
Fred: Aww, look. It's licking me.
Ted: It has a forked tongue.
Fred: Ok, so it's smelling me. Whatever.
Ted: And its eyes are freakin' me out.
Fred: Why? They're so big and dewey.
Ted: They close sideways.
Fred: Yeah, well...I guess that is a little strange.
Ted: Thank you. Now please, can we -
Blackout as a scream is heard.
Fred: (gasps) You do tricks, too!
Three Words
Two people, a guy and a gal, sitting on a bus stop bench. No props necessary. The guy should be played as deadpan as possible and the girl just, well, confused but intrigued.
Guy: (conversationally) There are three words in the English language that /
Girl: (interupts) Excuse me?
Guy: There are three words in the English language that begin with D W. Name them.
Girl: Who are you?
Guy: I'm a guy waiting for a bus and I'm bored out of my mind. Who are you?
Girl: I'm confused.
Guy: Pleased to meet you. Just go with it. There are three words in the /
Girl: (interrupts again) I heard you.
Guy: Buying time to think?
Girl: No. Maybe.
Guy: Only three. Come on. Play along.
Girl: You're such a dweeb.
(pause)
Guy: There are FOUR words in the english lang -
Girl: TAXI!
(blackout)