Two men are peering into a largish cardboard box which, assuming you don't have a contact at Industrial Light and Magic, the audience can't see into.

Fred: It looks like a kitten to me.

Ted: well, maybe, but...but it has wings.

Fred: But it's so cute!

Ted: ...Lizard wings.

Fred: And that nose, and the whiskers. It's adorable.

Ted: It looks like a Gremlin.

Fred: See? There you go. Gremlins are cute.

Ted: er.

Fred puts his hand in the box.

Fred: Aww, look. It's licking me.

Ted: It has a forked tongue.

Fred: Ok, so it's smelling me. Whatever.

Ted: And its eyes are freakin' me out.

Fred: Why? They're so big and dewey.

Ted: They close sideways.

Fred: Yeah, well...I guess that is a little strange.

Ted: Thank you. Now please, can we -

Blackout as a scream is heard.

Fred: (gasps) You do tricks, too!

Three Words

Two people, a guy and a gal, sitting on a bus stop bench. No props necessary. The guy should be played as deadpan as possible and the girl just, well, confused but intrigued.

Guy: (conversationally) There are three words in the English language that /

Girl: (interupts) Excuse me?

Guy: There are three words in the English language that begin with D W. Name them.

Girl: Who are you?

Guy: I'm a guy waiting for a bus and I'm bored out of my mind. Who are you?

Girl: I'm confused.

Guy: Pleased to meet you. Just go with it. There are three words in the /

Girl: (interrupts again) I heard you.

Guy: Buying time to think?

Girl: No. Maybe.

Guy: Only three. Come on. Play along.

Girl: You're such a dweeb.


Guy: There are FOUR words in the english lang -

Girl: TAXI!