the terrorists win

I have a habit these days. It's a very strange habit that some people find funny and some don't. When somebody tells me to do something or uses the phrase "have to" in a sentence, I respond by saying, "'Cause If we don't (insert the "have to" here), the terrorists win."

What drives me to do this? (Especially since I'm a right-winger.) Well first off, it's freakin hilarious when timed right and second, I'm driven to make a mockery of the capitalist abuse of a national tradgedy. G.W. doesn't make it any better by getting on TV, looking straight into the camera with his eyebrows giving a most sympathetic twitch and saying, "Go buy stuff people. It's the American way." or "If we don't buy stuff the terrorists win." (paraphrased) OK, sure our economy sucks right now, but the terrorists have nothing to do with it.

On a serious note, my little phrase can hold great meaning too. "If I don't go out and serve at the local soup kitchen, the terrorists win." or "If I don't help out at my local inner-city community center, the terrorists win." If we don't make the world a better place the terrorists do win.

Why do they win? Because being a selfish, lazy American who doesn't contribute much to society is exactly how most terrorists see us. They percieve us as fat Americans who hoarde everything and honestly, there is a grain of truth to that. There are some of us who only perpetuate the misconceptions most countries have to us and some of us who don't.

To sum it up, the best way to beat terrorism is to stop being a cancerous tumor on America's side and serve thy neighbor