Work was better than average today. I work in a nursing home. I'm a kitchen aide for $7.21 an hour. I'm the one who gets to set the table and wash dishes for twelve people twice a day (for breakfast and lunch). Well, it pays my EXTRAVAGANT Magic: the Gathering bills and allows me to get a solid hour to hour-and-a-half of reading time. Today was particularly splendid, as I had my copy of Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide (contains all five books of the Hitchhiker's Trilogy, along with another short story) with me, and two of the residents were out for the day. That means I finished cleaning up breakfast and lunch earlier than usual -- more reading time!

After work I went straight home to eat lunch: frozen pizza. That's good stuff! So after popping a pizza into the toaster oven, I hopped on the computer. The cable line is down for maintenance. ACK! Luckily, for some bizarre reason, my mother is still paying for America Online. After dialing into AOL at an excruciatingly slow rate, I'm granted a Welcome Screen with the headline Hunting Naked Women with a Paintball Gun. This is the first (and hopefully the last) time I have/will ever opened a link presented to me on an AOL Welcome Screen. (If you're interested in reading it, search Google News for "naked paintball").

So I'm up and running online. It's nearly 16:00 -- time for the weekly Capture the Flag tournament on the AberMUD Phoenix. My team was doing really well -- I was killing Blue team members like swine. Halfway through my mother's boyfriend cuts my connection. He has to use the phone. He told me his brother just had a heart attack. At first, I was a bit dazed. Sure, I had never met his brother, but I understood that it was vitally important for Kevin to contact his family. Then after a few minutes of doing nothing, a question pops into my head. 'How did he know his brother just had a heart attack?' Well, to make a long story short, Kevin's brother did not have a heart attack. He just needed to use the phone to call his buddy. Damn. It's about 17:30 when I get back online. The Capture the Flag tournament ended ten minutes ago. My team won. However, I don't get any credit for playing, as I wasn't there until the very end. Double damn.

After doing a bit of browsing on E2 and working a little on my own MUD, I decide to fry my brain in front of the boob tube. Cable Guy, Dogma, and The Wedding Singer are on simultaneously. Success! I love Jim Carrey, Kevin Smith, and Adam Sandler; I get to flip through three hilarious movies.

So that brings us to the present. I wrote this node primarily because I had an incident yesterday with a really shoddy writeup. At the time of this writing, it's still sitting there, grotesquely, in One Ring. I wrote a Brainfuck program that printed a few lines from the One Ring poem, but it was definitely ill-received, off-topic, and pointless. It's quite a blemish on my good node record. :(

"As soon as I found out about this, I called for an investigation," Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman said. "Las Vegas is a place where anything goes, but this crosses the line if this is real."