Some further notes:
- Eat light food - if you eat heavy food, you get sleepy and your body becomes less sensitive. Do not drop eating, though - being hungry will distract you from the experience, and thus also decrease sensitivity.
- Choose a time when you are both rested.
- If both are virgins: Remember that 'wet' means 'wet', not 'damp'. Foreplay to achieve this takes time; try to spend hours, not minutes (unless both of you suddenly feel that you need it to happen now, in which case you are probably ready :)
Apart from that, I still like the writeup overall, and definitely agree with the part at the end - it is not very likely to be a wonderous experience, but it will be an experience you remember, will look back at, and will have emotions around.
- Males will (usually) ejaculate quickly the first time. However, coming does not mean you have to stop! In most cases, you can get an erection again inside a reasonably short period of time (minutes to an hour.) Spend the time between just cuddling, enjoying the new closeness you've found, and talking about how it feels.
- People usually bond to the person that takes their virginity. Make sure this will not create problems in the life of either of you. I do not believe it is extremely important to love the first person you make love to (though it probably heighten the experience), but you should be very comfortable with him or her - it should be someone that is a friend, no matter what.
- There are a lot of ways to be sexually intimate without having intercourse. Spend the time to get to know each other's bodies before going for The Big One. I think progressing from simple caressing through kisses to petting, petting to orgasm, and oral sex, and ending it all with intercourse will give you the most enjoyment out of the latter - and spending the time to build up to it should make the final act much more exciting.
- Make sure you have time for each other afterwards; at least a few hours, preferably days.
- Talk to each other about it. If you are the virigin party: Tell your partner that it is the first time, talk about how it feels, what is good, what is not so good, things you want to try, etc.
- Make sound - sound is exciting. If you are used to being quiet when masturbating - try to suppress the habit when you're with a partner. Few things are more exciting than hearing that what you are doing with somebody works for them.
- Do not hunt for orgasms, particularly not as a part of the actual intercourse. What is important is the closeness, the round, enveloping feeling of having somebody be as close to you as is physically possible. Orgasms will come in time, and your technique and adaption to each other will mature - do not stress about it.
... and the most important point: Try to relax, be comfortable and enjoy it!
: I do not agree with the advice (for males) of wearing a condom unless this is required for "the usual reasons." In my opinion, time to ejaculation
is not important, and especially not something that you should see as important for the first time you have sex. Closeness and comfort is important, and most males feel sex with a condom
as much more distant. If you feel you come too fast when you have the background to evaluate, there are a lot of techniques for extending the time to ejaculation (or dropping ejaculation alltogether); I personally have gotten a lot of pleasures from the sexual Tantra
techniques. However, a small warning: I'd not recommend the Kama Sutra
for actual technique - get other references. The Kama Sutra
is an interesting work, but it is sort of like the bible
- written by a lot of different authors, not easily comprehensible, and with things that are more or less repeated (for instance, the variation between two of the different positions are at which angle the female holds her hand.)
As for females: I'd recommend using a lubricant rather than or in addition to condoms. As far as I know, the feeling of increased distance when using condoms is weaker in females than in males, and often absent alltogether - so the advice for males above doesn't apply that much. Feeling comfortable is what is most important - if you feel more comfortable with a condom than without, by all means use one.
Apart from that, I agree with eddy's advice.