A filk to the tune of Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend
A silk scarf or two may be sophisticated,
But handcuffs are a girls best friend
A rope may be grand, but it's somewhat outdated,
And a modern lass,
Would think it crass,
And always pass
Chains are neat, and shackles sweet
But they both lose their charms in the end
But standard or fur-lined
Your cuffs are for all time
Yes handcuffs are a girls best friend
There may come a time when a chick needs some leather
But handcuffs are a girl's best friend
There may come a time when boots and whips go together
Now they may look tough
But without your cuffs
They're only stuff
He's your guy when heels are high
But beware when they start to descend
You know when you find him
You'll need something to bind him
Yes handcuffs are a girls best friend
I've heard of affairs where no pain is exerted
But handcuffs are a girl's best friend
And I think affairs that are somewhat perverted
Are much better bets
And my little pets aren't leaving yet
Time rolls on, and youth is gone
And even leather will crack when you bend
But sunshine, or rain dear,
You'll be happy in chains dear
Handcuffs are a girl's...best... friend