A short story I wrote last night at work
The only thing that I remembered was being struck in the back of the head by something hard and heavy. "Jesus Christ that hurt like a bastard!" I remember saying to myself upon waking up. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I was in some type of a hedge maze. It was sunny out and I could hear Robins and Sparrows chirping. I knew that I was still in North America. The only problem was that I had no idea where I was. This place, this garden of hell, could be anywhere. I had estimated that I was knocked out for a relatively long time. At least six hours. My body felt like it had been drugged. I decided that I was not going to get much achieved by just sitting in one spot. So I went looking for a path that would lead me home.
There were a total of four paths that I could take, so I decided to take the one closest to me. I began walking and suddenly noticed that there was something in my back pocket. I reached in a grabbed it. It was a note. This is what it said:
Hello David. Congratulations! If you are reading this note, then you must be in The Garden of Sorrows. If you need to something to eat do not hesitate to blow the tiny little whistle also located in your back pocket. We have taken all of your material belongings. The only way you will ever return home is if you can decipher the four, three-digit combinations for the locks on the door at the beginning of the maze.
I immediately ran back to the beginning of the maze. Sure enough, there was a door. It had been locked with four large combination locks. Well, four locks, four paths, I'm betting I gotta go find the combinations for these locks. I had started down the first path when I began to feel a bit nauseous. At that point I remembered the whistle in my back pocket. I pulled it out and gave it a healthy toot. Sure enough a can of Spaghetti O's materialized right before my very eyes. Only one problem. No can-opener or spoon!!! It took some doing but I managed to get the damn can open and eat the spaghetti o's that lay waiting for my parched mouth to just swallow up. I continued down the first path not noticing that it was starting to get dark. A very unsavory feeling crept up my spine, but I continued onward.
The first path was full of twists and turns that just seemed impossible. It seemed like I was walking in circles, but I most certainly was not. It was really dark out now. But the maze seemed to be emitting a glow of it's own. As if the paths were lit with thousands of light emitting diodes. Needless to say this made me feel a bit better. As I came near the end of this path I noticed a shred of paper on the ground, then another, and then one more. I realized that these scraps of paper were the first combination for the first lock. Thinking to myself "oh great, I have to walk all the way back through this maze," I turned around a noticed a small ring on the ground. Like a door knocker, but much bigger. I lifted the iron ring and to my surprise there was a hidden door. Underneath the door was a staircase. "Whatever is down there cannot be any worse than what I am going to have to do up here," I said to myself. and I went on down the stairs.
As I walked down this underground stairway I began to think of what would happen if I didn't get out of this place. Hell I didn't even understand why I was here. Is this some type of prison? Or is it just some crazy bastard's reality television show? At this point I was a bit worried. My girlfriend was probably worried sick by now. The tunnel seemed to go on forever. The walls of the very thing seemed like they were alive, almost breathing. I continued on my way noticing a small light coming from my destination. It looked like campfire light. "That's odd" I thought to myself. As I neared the exit of the tunnel, I realized that I could also hear voices. I stopped for a second of two to listen, but could not make out what they were saying. I reached the end of the tunnel and climbed up the stairs.
To my surprise I was In a totally different place. Some type of storage building. I thought I heard something in one of the shadowy corners move, so I went closer to take a look. There were to young girls holding each other and crying. A brunette and a blonde "Please don't kill us," the brunette said. "We will do anything you want," the blonde said. I told them I wasn't planning on killing them, and that I just wanted to know what the hell was going on and where I was. "So you don't work for Mr. Sledge?" asked the brunette. "No" I said, "Who is Mr. Sledge?" They told me that this Mr. Sledge is a serial killer with a really odd fetish. He likes to keep human guinea pigs and watch them run around in a maze all day or until they die. They went on to tell me that they had been trapped inside Sledge's maze for almost three months. There were no combinations for the locks. It was a load of shit. Mr. Sledge just wanted us to wander aimlessly around hoping we could get out of his crazy fucking death maze. Luckily for them and me, they found the secret exit. I still had no idea of where I was though. There was only one door in the building so I figured it would take me outside. Sure enough, it did. I ran three blocks before I could find a fucking pay phone. I dialed 911 and within a half hour a search and rescue team picked us up. They never found Mr. Sledge.
Now my fucking rotor needs to be replaced!
I went up to town yesterday and bought two used tires for my car. Well upon changing the passenger's side front tire I noticed that the break pads that I had just installed were already almost gone. Now if you know anything about automobile breaking systems, you will know that this is not normal at all. The only thing I really think it could be is the rotor. It is in pretty bad shape anyways. I bought a new rotor this morning for $30.00, and put it on about an hour ago. So far it seems to be driving fine. The breaks feel a lot stronger now as well. As long as I don't lose my breaks in town or while I am hauling ass at seventy miles an hour.
A conversation with a friend in Iraq
My friend Dan is currently stationed in Abu Gharib. I haven't talked with him in a very long time. I thought he was dead. Any way here is our conversation:
fenwickdrummer: Holy shit it's you man! I thought you were dead.
daniel_horricks: No, not dead. Just sleeping.
daniel_horricks: You ever get a job man?
fenwickdrummer: I'm working at the BP gas station in Greenville. Over by TSC.
fenwickdrummer: Yeah, it works.
fenwickdrummer: Better than nothing.
daniel_horricks: At least you don't have to wear all of the shit I have to wear. Shit loads of ammo, grenades and shit.
fenwickdrummer: Anything interesting going on over there?
daniel_horricks: We had a bunch of militants try to ambush us last week. I had to shoot three men. It was difficult and it was the first time I had to do it. But you know, it was either us or them. And I am not ready to die. I want to come home and start a family with Marissa.
daniel_horricks: I am tired as fuck man.
fenwickdrummer: Looks like it.
fenwickdrummer: What time is it over there?
daniel_horricks: It's 9:43 PM here and I have 14 more hours of work to go.
fenwickdrummer: Only 1:45 PM here. I gotta work at 4:30 until 11:30.
daniel_horricks: Well have fun, and don't work too hard man.
fenwickdrummer: Yeah man you too. Later. Keep in touch.
daniel_horricks: Peace man.