GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Sorry about that, but these past two days have been really, really fucking shitty. Remember kids, double and triple check that you are actually enrolled in college, and that you do indeed have classes. Because if you don't, you'll feel like you're bent over with a very large horse looking at you in a very strange way.
I apologize for that lovely image, but I found out yesterday that I never enrolled in classes. I'm a dumbass, I know. So, in trying to straighten all this out, I'm ending up with 2, maybe 3 classes that I can take, which of course means a heavy load next semster. Only one class is going to be an actual class involving a classroom. The other class and the maybe are going to be online courses, which I'm fine with if I can do the one thing I haven't been able to do for 22 years now, motivate myself to work.
But that's another issue entirely. My day today consisted of waking up ass early, going to UMass Lowell ass early, and finding out that the head of the department can't help me in anyway, always a great way to start out your morning. So I drive 30 miles to my Dad's office to borrow his credit card, as I am a broke motherfucker with no money of my own. I get the card and drive the 30 miles back only to find, no parking. Yeap, that's right UMass Lowell has a shitload of students and parking for about 2/3rds of them, if that. After spending 40 minutes trying to find a parking space, with no avail, I drove to a tertiary lot to find the spot I so desperately needed.
There was no spot. As I was leaving the lot, I noticed a street across the way, with a car parked on the side of the road and room behind it. Knowing that I would be in the building for at most 20 minutes, I crossed the street and parked. As soon as I exited the car, a thin, white man, about 24 years old with bad facial hair and large baggy clothing starts yelling at me, "You can't park there."
"I'll be here for 20 minutes, tops," I yell back to him.
"I'll call the fucking cops! They'll give you a ticket!"
"I don't care, I'll be gone before they show up," a statement I wasn't so sure of.
"You'll come back to four fucking slashed tires!"
I didn't believe him. "Then I'll kick your fucking ass!" A master of diplomacy I am not.
I took off, one hand holding up my shorts, as I dashed across the street and into the building, up the stairs to the second floor. I looked in the office of the teacher I needed to talk to and she wasn't there, no luck. I headed back out to my car to leave.
Of course this person, bitter because I was trying to get into college, something I'm sure he would never do, wouldn't let me leave quietly. "You wanna kick my ass, let's go, fuck, come on, bring it, come over here and kick my ass."
I should've learned from my elementary school experiences not to say "I'm gonna kick your ass" to anyone, because then they want their ass kicked. They beg for it, "Oh please kick my ass. My aura is out of alignment and I need you to rectify it with a swift shot of your foot to my nuts. Please beat me so I realize my place." After much yelling, name calling, and various descriptions of sexual acts I squeeled my car out of the space it had inhabited and headed home, to where I am now.
What have I learned today? Never tell someone you're gonna kick their ass, because you don't know what the white trash that watches MTV all day has under his hideously yellow T-shirt. Never park improperly so you don't have to deal with A) The Cops and 2) Morons. Also, ALWAYS SIGN UP FOR CLASSES ON TIME, then check, and double check to make sure you have them.